The editor of The West Australian "newspaper" has resigned. Hurrah. Mayhap WA will have an actual newspaper again one day. I've heard that when he started he instructed staff to only write articles that were controversial and anything that wasn't defined at controversial was to be made controversial, and all else (ie. 'news') excluded.
Bizarre
a) Medals of Freedom given to the guys who helped Bush start a war. Freedom... War... Ah! What's the diff!
b) Little Johnny Howard being called 'the man of steel'.
Ah! What's the diff!
Great
My holiday! Didn't get to do as much as I'd planned sightseeing-wise (hey, there's always next time!) but had lots of fun and it all went too quickly. Am looking forward to my next holiday now. More! More! More! I was totally spoiled and loved it. Went to some great shindigs, got some lovely Chrissy prezzies and had all sorts of bizarre and unique offers New Year's Eve (some of which could have lead to my arrest had I agreed). So, much fun was had (and additionally contemplated) all round. Lucky, lucky me.
Hope you all are having a lovely start to the new year.
I thought it was pretty cool having a horse beach in Perth.
But of course, I didn't realise how many other animals are being excluded! I mean, we have lots of dog beaches in Perth as well, but really we're not going far enough.
Think of all the animals whose beach frolicking needs are being ignored! I mean, many other people would surely like to exercise their pets at the beach!
Lots of people now have pet rabbits...
Their needs should be met too!
(Although, killer rabbits should of course be responsibly restrained.)
And, of course, cats miss out.
It really is disgraceful.
One might like to walk one's pet monkey...
And where are they going to go?!
Even cows enjoy a break away from their everyday routine.
Have been immersing myself in a lazy Sunday today. The only active thing I've done is hack at the bougainvillea, and the intertwined and rampant passionfruit vine which is eternally attempting to choke it. I won btw. My aim was also to warm myself up, which I achieved nicely... for a while. Very sunny lately at least.
So, being a lazy day, I thought it was an opportune moment to have a go at a flickr-mosaic meme that's been going around the blogosphere.
It goes like this:
Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.
And the questions are these:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favourite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favourite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?
They're answered in rows, left to right.
I'm quite happy with how it turned out actually - it will do well as my new desktop image (although it could be quite dangerous as it will surely encourage me to up my indulgence in sweet treats - how good does that mud pie look!!!).
Update: Thanks to kiki's encouragement, I shall annoy, I mean, tag people to do the meme. I hereby tag kiki, kath, mai, ariel and homo j. Enjoy or ignore as you wish!
Konnichiwa Prime Minister Fukuda! *bows* *says in Japanese* "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much".
Konnichiwa Mr Rudd san. Ogenki desu ka? I did not know you spoke Japanese as well as Mandarin!
Uh... "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much". ...Hai!
Please, have a seat.
Oh, thank you. Hai! You know, you can call me Kevin if you like... Or, 'the Ruddster'. Heh. Even though you're not one of the group... You know, like 'the Swanster' and 'the Gillster', or sometimes I call her 'the Gillmeister.' You can be 'the Fukster'! Uh... hai!
*some sake is poured*
Tell me, have you been well?
Well yes, hai, thank you. But I did have a dodgy dagwood dog or something the other day, I don't know. All I know is the consequences were graphic! Ha!
Ah. But better than a bad blowfish, yes?
Hai! Yes! Ha ha. Speaking of seafood. I wanted to say that this thing with killing whales is really just not on. You know, I just feel I have to tell you this.
Yes. But, Mr Rudd san. I noticed that your Department of Defence killed 514 kangaroos recently... your national emblem I believe.
Well, no... I mean, it's not officially our national emblem, and that's a Red Kangaroo on the Australian Coat of Arms, you know, these were Grey Kangaroos...
Ah.
Hai.
*pause*
*both sip some warm sake*
Mr Fukuda. I hope this won't stop you giving us lots of money for our exports...
And Mr Rudd san, I hope you will continue to provide us with large amounts of coal and iron ore.
And Mr Fukuda san, I hope you will make some hybrid cars for us.
Sono you desu ne. Looks like we (already) will be!
*clink sake cups*
Speaking of saving the planet, did you know I've just announced that Japan will aim to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 60 to 80 per cent by 2050 and we're going to launch an experimental carbon market?
Really. That sounds great! *sips sake*
Yes. I compared the grand scope of the effort to the Industrial Revolution, and then I said "I believe that we need to make an effort to create a low-carbon revolution so that our descendants 200 years from now will look back and be proud of us." Impressive, hai?
Hai. Hai. Did you hear I've just announced that Australia will set up a Nuclear Non-Proliferations and Disarmament Commission?
Indeed? *sips sake*
Oh, and I visited Hiroshima. I wrote, "Let the world resolve afresh from the ashes of this city - to work together for the common mission of peace for this Asia-Pacific century, and for a world where one day nuclear weapons are no more."
Impressive Mr Rudd san.
I thought so. You know, you can be co-chair if you like!
Much appreciation Mr Rudd san. *mutters* Although I suppose you're happy to keep selling uranium to China...And who will be the head of this important commission?
Biggles.
Biggles?
Yeah, bonza bloke Biggles. But I'll warn you, it's a good idea to keep an eye out for flying ashtrays! Ha ha!
I shall make a note.
Yeah, ol' Bluey. He'll love it. Hey, I heard one of your lot is buying that Bald Hills wind farm project at Tarwin Lower in Victoria. You know, some Vics are none too pleased about it.
Victoria! Hontou desu ka? Really? Oh, Tarwin! Not Taiwan Lower! Ah...! Just when we thought we'd gotten one over on the Chinese... *gulps sake*
You know Mr Fukuda. This has been a jolly good chat. I hope you don't feel I've been ignoring you lately.
Mr Rudd san. I do have bigger things to worry about... elections Sunday did not go well for my party. I'm not very popular, rating below 20%, the opposition is bullying me and planning to censure me.... *gulps more sake*
Uh, well hopefully things will be better on my next visit! *shakes hands in a cheery manner*
Most likely I won't be here Mr Rudd san.
Oh. Below 20% you say? Uh, Mr Fukuda. Have you heard of Brendan Nelson?
The lovely Ariel has tagged me for a meme. Apparently it's for those of us who are random and weird... Oh... no. Sorry. It's actually for telling 5 random or weird facts about yourself.
The rules of this meme are: Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names, and links to their blogs. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Right then. These are the facts:
1. I'm someone who needs time on my own more than I need time with other people. I've known lots of people that hate being alone, and some can't even stand silence. I'm content with quiet; it doesn't bother me. Unlike others who say they'd go nuts without company, I think I would go nuts if I never had time alone... which is probably why living on my own suits me so much. I love it!
2. I watch motorbike races; MotoGP. I have been exposed to a fair bit of motorsport over the years due to various boyfriends, but it's only been the MotoGP that's stuck (I can do without the F1 cars or the V8s).
That I like the GP is probably partly due to Valentino Rossi. He's been the champion rider for years and is very entertaining on and off the track - quite a personality and an exciting rider. (Hmm, this doesn't sound suggestive at all does it?)
Of course last year it was Aussie rider, Casey Stoner, who took the championship off Rossi. So it's been even better to watch.
3. I have a small, private collection of etchings... Would you like to see them? Sorry. I meant to say: I have a small collection of other people's photos and postcards. They are all decades old and I just find them beautiful and romantic somehow. And a bit mysterious. Have bought them in market stalls and from unusual people at swap meets.
Here are some from the 1920s and 30s. Just click to enlarge them:
Florence postcard, front and back (a few ghosts in this one):
Who are these people? The first one says on the back it is Joe and Peter in 1932.
(Obviously not on a good day...)
These are a bit more picturesque:
And another postcard, front and back:
4. I also love owning old books. I love them all aesthetically most of all, but many for their content too, like Keats' poetry and letters. And the much outdated content of the volumes of 'The Popular Educator':
For example:
"In searching for a record of the process of creation, we naturally turn our attention to that only Book the human library contains which did not emanate from the mind of man. But [in] the Bible... we only find the sacred historian dedicating a few verses to the subject of 'the creation of the world'. Yet we may rest assured that, although the short notice only touches the prominent points, yet every word is true; and the more science has discovered, the more has she proved to be the commentator and unfolder of the great truths contained in those few words. ...Explorers now in every part of the world collect information, and every right-minded man rests assured that in the end Scripture will not be contradicted, but confirmed."
Religious Education, right? No. This is under the heading "Lessons in Geology - I". Yes, 'Educator' indeed.
In case you're interested there are also lessons in Arithmetic, Hydrostatics, Greek, Italian, Latin, German, Geometrical Perspective, Algebra, Botany (eg. Anacardiaceae: 'Flowers ordinarily dicecious by abortion... petals inserted upon a perigynous disc... imbricated in aestivation...' Don't fret people. Spell-check doesn't know what these words mean either.), Readings in French, Lessons in Shorthand, Music, Architecture, Recreative Natural History (where we learn about stages in the metamorphosis of various crabs for example), Historical Sketches, Our Holiday (which includes Athletic Sports, with diagrams: 'Fig. 1 - Running')... I think you get the idea.
There's also Comparative Anatomy, a game boys have always been fond of (after they're shown you their etchings).
5. I lived in the US when I was a kid.
When I came back to a new Australian primary school - after having been well-educated in acquiring a perfect American accent in a US elementary school (only took me 2 weeks) - I found I was a freak. No one had an accent of any kind in this school, possibly not even Kiwi. So at recess I would be in the middle of the school yard with the majority of the student body surrounding me shouting 'Say something! Say something!'. 'Uh, what do you want me to say?' 'Ahahahahahahahaha! Say something else!' 'What?' 'Say rollerskates!' 'Uh... Rollerrrskates' 'Ah-hahahahahahaha!! Say something else!' and on and on...
Of course, after the above treatment, I tried frantically to get my Aussie accent back - and succeeded, and thankfully stopped getting mobbed.
Oh, but they all decided I was a bit strange and possibly a bit thick as in addition to my freaky way of speaking, I had learnt a different method of long division (of course I was successful at it, but that didn't mean I was allowed to do it that way!) and had never learnt netball (only baseball, softball, indoor hockey... not much use). So me, the American freak.
Many of these kids who continued on to the same high school later could never be convinced I was Australian.
-----
I will now politely tag (ie. don't have to do it if you don't want!) The Blakkat, Mai, Wyn Richards, Davey (cause you're all a bit weird and random... *heh*) and Rosanna (who, of course, is Practically Perfect)!
With the ubiquity of this meme at the moment it is no surprise that I've been tagged twice. By The (ever so delightful) Man at the Pub and the always charming Ariel. I believe this means if I want to do 16 answers at any stage I am not only allowed to but actually encouraged to do so.
So here's the meme - with minor adjustments (rebel that I am).
Eight things I'm passionate about: Nature (birds, animals, flora, oceans, rivers, clouds, sunsets, moon, etc... you get the picture)
Ideas and epiphanies
Thinking and creating
Laughing and relaxing
Health and wellbeing
Words and reading
Learning
Time alone
Eight things I want to do before I die:
Complete this meme
Lots more travelling
Find (and maybe even hang onto) a soul mate
Read more
Create more
Be happier with myself and life
Live in the countryside
Live in different places in the world
Eight things I say often:
hi hey thanks what's up (and no, not like in 'wassup' combined with some kind of funky ghetto gesticulation) okay oops bizarre wow
(And yes, this can actually entail an entire conversation....)
Eight books I've read recently:
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (thanks Davey) (recommended)
A Simone de Beauviour biography
Something like An Interview with Marilyn: about private talks with her by some guy with the name Weatherbee or something (sorry but I threw it away after, as I wanted to lighten the moving load - helped quite a bit, being a small, lightweight paperback and all...)
Political Ideologies
The Voice of Knowledge by Miguel Ruiz
The Shark Net by Robert Drewe
A couple of books by Kathy Reichs which were recently loaned to me but they're not particularly good (that show Bones is loosely based on them, and her; not particularly good either... although that David guy from Angel is easy on the eyes...)
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (also recommended)
Eight (16 actually) songs I could listen to over and over:
Beauty Queen; also Leather - Tori Amos
Had a Dad - Jane's Addiction (best at full volume)
All or Nothing at All - originally by Sinatra I think but I like Vince Jone's version (although I seem to have lost the cd), [he sung A Song for You live on Kate Ceberano & Friends years ago and it brought me to tears - swoon-worthy stuff]
Change (in the house of flies) - Deftones
Seasons- Chris Cornell... "sleeping with a full moon blanket, seven feathers for my head" "...could you crawl into my world and take me worlds away" Really beautiful and just makes you want to pick up an acoustic and strum away by a campfire or something (no, not like Kum By Ya!)
Pretty much everything off Reading Writing & Arithmetic - The Sundays
Drown- Smashing Pumpkins so hypnotic and romantic... yes, all eight minutes and seventeen seconds of it, including a minute or two of the best feedback you'll ever hear! (ignore the amateur images in this vid. I'm just glad I found one with the original song on it.)
On the Bound - Fiona Apple dark funky sounds and her growling "you're all I need..."
Extraordinary Machine, so beautifully old fashioned yet unique, "be kind to me, or treat me mean, I'll make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine"; also with exquisitely old fashioned sounds and lyrics is Waltz (better than fine) - both Fiona Apple "If you don't have a date, Celebrate, Go out and sit on the lawn and do nothing, 'Cause it's just what you must do and Nobody does it anymore..."
Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley... could be the White Pages, he'd still make me swoon
Down Boy - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (also the theatrics of Rockers to Swallow... she's a bomb that girl)
Let Me Drown - Soundgarden
Burn - The Cure from The Crow soundtrack. This song really has one of my favourite intro's.
Eight albums that trigger memories:
You know how some periods and experiences in your life seem to have a soundtrack? Well, I thought I'd add this section to the meme because while thinking of songs for the above I realised I like a lot of albums partly due to the memories they evoke. Plus, I shall be interested to read other bloggers' answers to this too.
The Lion and the Cobra - Sinead O'Connor. Recalls both happy times and dark. Loved Jackie.
Reading Writing and Arithmetic - The Sundays. How can you have sad memories with this album? Sweet, sweet, sweet.
Singles (soundtrack) - various. Two of the songs above (Chris Cornell & Pumpkins) are from this album. I never saw the movie, which apparently is crap, but recall my friends absolutely desperate for the album to come out in 1992 - and rightly so too. All the tunes on it by Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam (two of their best), Soundgarden and the above choices are well worn on my CD.
The Real Thing - Faith No More. Well, memories... but hazy. Perhaps just more of a general 'vibe' for this one... [UPDATE: Have just recalled that this cassette and The Church's Of Skins and Hearts were accidentally daubed in multi-colours of paint... also recalled that I had to ask "Am I crying?" quite often as my cheeks felt wet... Does this clarify at all?]
Gish - Smashing Pumpkins. Evokes the same period as Singles. Not that I have the album anymore as it was a copy on cassette. Must purchase it though as I loved their early stuff (Siamese Dream was also played to death).
Mezcal Head - Swervedriver. Also distorted recall here...
Lost Souls - Doves. Were a few make-out sessions to this one (actually, *ahem* to a few of these albums, but I don't, you know, want to be repetitive or anything).
The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses. Dark and hazy memories here. The album saw me through some melancholy days (actually months). Bloody awesome album though. Another one I should find again (where do these lost CDs go to? The Land of Odd Socks??).
Eight movies I've watched close to eight times:
Well, the first couple would be easily eight times (I was very young and obviously less easily bored) but the latter ones only a few viewings.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Know most of the dialogue to this one. ie. "Wake up and smell the coffee Mrs Bueller. It's a fools paradise out there. He is just leading you down the primrose path..."
Dogs in Space - Watched this one to feed my perving habit re Michael Hutchence. It also had the added benefit of discouraging me from trying smack... or adrenalin. I even have the album on vinyl (how else would I be able to impress other bloggers with my knowledge of the band Thrush and the C*nts?). Healthy (or unhealthy...!) dialogue recall for this one too: "That's not a girl. I've seen girls before, and they don't look like that!" Oh, and it introduced me to fairy toast... and 'a dog named Laika'.
The first two of The Bourne Trilogy (I don't own them or anything but seem to have watched them an awful lot and never tire of them - I do own Franke Potente's other flick, Run Lola Run however... hmm, that's completely irrelevant isn't it. Oh well.)
Breakfast at Tiffany's... Charade... Roman Holiday... (yes, I've liked Audrey Hepburn since a wee lass - will also watch most of Kate Hepburn's flicks - not that they're related or anything... oh dear, irrelevant again)
Kill Bill I & II. Mostly the first one but have seen the second a few times too.
Finding Nemo. I saw it twice at the movies and have probably seen it once or twice since. Such a cheering film. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Note: Could have added Flashdance from numerous viewings in my youth, but I only watched the dance scenes over and over... fortunately the dialogue didn't do it for me.
The lovely lad with the sobriquet of Lad Litter has been charming enough to tag me. Although this is not as exciting as being tagged in a game of kiss chasey (shame) it does mean a meme and I'm sure a fun time shall be had by all!
So, the rules:
1. Describe your earliest memory where the memory is clear, and where "clear" means you can depict at least three details; 2. Give an estimate of your age at the time; 3. Tag five other bloggers with this meme.
This is a good meme for me as I haven't given a lot of thought to my earliest memories. I've wracked my brain and left it deflated and exhausted by my efforts, but it has generously given me my earliest memory with "at least three details" as specified. Those three being: me and my twin cousins.
I am close to 3 and my female cousins only a few months younger.
We are playing in the backyard at my house. Our mothers have obviously figured it's a very safe backyard as they left us there with minimal supervision - there was only lawn and plants, and the goldfish pond has recently been replaced by a sand pit (I believe dad achieved this by a quick drive to the beach at the end of our street where he filled a trailer with lovely white beach sand; the '70s were kinda relaxed like that...).
We were just toddlers really and had minimal vocab but I recall a discussion taking place. I don't know whether I had told them of the ladder-type stairs going up to the roof or if they just saw them next to the house.
(I must share with you that years after this we had a dog that would climb the stairs up to the pitched roof of our single storey house, walk across it and lie on the front where she could see the street and anyone approaching the house. We had a very large tree smack dab in the middle of our front yard so when people walking past were startled by the sound of a dog barking... coming from somewhere above their heads... they had no idea where it was coming from. This gave us, and our dog, years of entertainment.)
Anyway, my twin cousins were balls of energy and could climb anything like little hairless monkeys. Also like little monkeys they were very cheeky and always getting into mischief. As soon as they knew of the stairs they were determined to go up there. Somehow we discussed this. Recalling such a discussion makes me wonder if we're telepathic or something as kids cause we couldn't really talk that well. Although, I suppose "go roof" would have sufficed.
I remember thinking they really shouldn't go up there. a) because it was 'wrong' (pick the single child here; well-behaved and never egged on by siblings) and our mothers would be cross; and, b) because I thought it was dangerous.
They may have tried getting me to go up there too. Regardless, I told them not to do it... they went ahead anyway.
It was an old timber stair-ladder thingamee with no hand railings, so an easy fall off either side onto the dirt below. My memories of the stairs may be from a bit later so perhaps the step that was later missing was still attached at this time, as the gaps between the steps were already pretty large. Plus it was quite steep and even when I was a 'big kid' I would need to climb it more like a ladder.
Apart from the 'argument' in which I was firmly told not to tell on them, my next vivid recollection is of them crawling around on the roof. Now this roof was steep and tiled, not easy even for an adult to tackle. These guys were having a great adventure and I was looking up at them from the lawn scared out of my wits - which in retrospect I believe was quite sensible. I was trying really hard not to go in and tell my mum, but then they started crawling down the steep slope of the back down toward the timber pergola and they wouldn't stop. I was really scared they would get to the pergola and fall through one of the large gaps between the timber beams 'splat' onto the brick pavers below.
I frantically ran inside, trying to get help before they got to the edge of the roof. Now I don't remember anything else after this but I don't want to leave you hanging so I'll tell you what mum has told me. Apparently I ran, or really toddled, inside to my mum and my aunty and was very stressed out and pointing at the roof, my eyes wide. I think I said 'roof!' or something helpful like that. Regardless they saw I was really scared and so ran into action. Lord knows what they thought when they saw the girls on the roof. I think if I saw my 2 year olds crawling around the edge of a roof with a sheer drop onto pavers below I would have a minor heart attack.
Fortunately I can't recall how pissed off my cousins were with me for dobbing on them though.
---
So... now we get to play tag!
I'm going to tag Mai, cause her childhood memories so far sound pretty amazing; Davey, cause whatever he writes is amusing; same goes for The Man at the Pub (let's see if your earliest memory involves a few bevvies eh?); The Blakkat, so she can be yet again distracted from the rewrites of her novel; and Ariel, to give her some distraction from annoying school Nazis teachers.
Remember the Panties for Peace thing? Well Mai has directed me to this game in which you throw panties at Burma's rotten, hideous, crooked, evil junta leader General Than Shwe.
About:
Brutal Burmese Dictators believe contact with women's underwear will sap their powers. Hope they're right? READY...AIM...VOTE!
In support of a recently launched global campaign calling on people to 'fling' women's panties at Burmese embassies around the world, we crafted a 'voting game' where everyone can express their opinion.
Directions:
Use your mouse to shoot a colourful assortment of underwear at the unsuspecting junta leader General Than Shwe. We're keeping track of all the throws and hits of everyone who plays - so pitch as many panties as you desire, in fact, the more the better!
It's quite funny to listen to him squeal in horror at you pelt him in the head with a plethora of knickers.
Could this have some benefit psychically at least? He's pretty superstitious so here's hoping, fingers crossed, touch wood, throw salt over your shoulder, don't walk under a ladder, etc.
Next I want a game, or maybe a reality tv show challenge, where competitors see who is first to take the junta's power away, their money away and then lock them up! Winner keeps 10% of the loot, giving the rest to the people of Burma. Hurray!!
I'll admit I understand about having different personalities or aspects of oneself...
Tori Amos is in the country touring her latest album American Doll Posse. She explained to Robbie that the posse is a group of characters she uses to show all the sides of herself.
"This is about, to me, performance art. They have their own stories and they have their own songs. And they have their own life. They're different people."
While Tori does play all her live shows as herself, each night she begins with an opening set performed by one of the other women.
So who was invited on stage to open the first show of the Australia tour?
"Santa, she's a tart. Husband loves her. Santa's a party."
Well, I tried to be all fancy-shmancy and have a lovely fresh new stylish lovely glam template (it was really nice - went well with my sub-header)... but I lost all my links and widgets and bits and pieces. And it wouldn't let me put them back (so guess what I've been doing the past hour).
Pretty template... but stubborn and inflexible - that's what you get when they're free.
Now, I'm sure this would have been fine and I could have, with a bit of html expertise, got everything working again. But as it turns out I'm not geek enough to manage it.
20% Geek I could barely get that damn icon in here.
Really, at only 20% it's a wonder I have a blog at all.
While I'm on the geek thing I was wondering: Does anyone else use a browser (see, I'm not even sure that is the right term) for reading blogs and such?
I use Google Reader and I find it really handy for letting me know when someone, esp those who might not be regular posters, has a new post.
But I've heard some comments lately on people's blogs - such as, 'I've been checking your blog every day for new posts...' - that makes me think that some people might be even less geek than me! Could this be possible?
Boo has created this meme. And oh, the sha-a-ame!!
Can I begin with some reasonably 'right' crushes? They would be George Clooney (I have even heard straight men say if they had to be with a guy it would be George...), Michael Vartan, Clark Gable, Jeff Buckley, Gotye, and a couple of guys from Grey's Anatomy... well... ok, fine... about four of them.
Pretty close to shameful, but I'm not sure about 'wrongest', are Owen Wilson (wonky nose and all), Brendan Julian and a young gentleman on Supernatural (I began watching the show this year after I happened to see him and his younger, tv-show-brother sans shirts). Apart from his youth, this crush on Jensen Ackles is mostly shameful due to his earlier role on Days of Our Lives - that I even know this is also of some concern. However, the man that's made me go weakest at the knees, my heart go pitter-pat and my body overheat so that I sit on the couch and fan myself like some old-Hollywood drama queen, would be Russian tennis player Marat Safin. Oh. my... But really he should be in the 'wrongs': his temper tantrums and dummy spits are quite off-putting. Although, all that swearing in Russian...
Enough delaying... May I just say that this was really hard. There are not many 'right' celebrities I've found attractive, so to recall the 'wrong' types I've had a crush on, however brief or shallow, has tortured my brain cells immensely. Made more difficult methinks by my subconscious desire to avoid the shame...
*takes deep breath* Let us begin with...
1. SHAUN CASSIDY
Yes! A Cassidy! I must have been about 6 when I had this wee crush, as The Hardy Boys ended in 1979. And wow did I have to strain to even recall this! But suddenly his image appeared, violently regurgitated from the murky depths of my memory. I didn't even know his name. But I'm thinking he may be to blame for me occasionally finding The Strokes' singer, Julian Casablancas, a bit of a honey... You thinks?
2. JOHN SCHNEIDER
Again returning to girlhood. Back in the 80s I thought him a real sweetie pie. Plus, my girly crush on him helped me to sit through numerous mind-numbing episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard. Other than him I only really watched it for the car (honest).
3. MICHAEL HUTCHENCE
Well, it seems kinda wrong now, but when when I was 15 it made a whole lotta sense. He was the only guy who got a few - well, maybe, er, *cough* 20 or so - posters on my teen walls. I even know the dialogue to Dogs in Space by heart due to repeated viewings (was R-rated but the video store guy never questioned me, guess he was just happy that someone was renting it).
4. RUPERT EVERETT Clearly wrong as the man is gay and participated in Sydney's latest Mardi Gras. But he may be having second thoughts about his 'gayness': "I don't want to be carried out of a club wearing a tie-dye T-shirt and a cap on the wrong way around when I am 70". And he may at least be available: "Unfortunately, I am single, yes, but I'm too exhausted for anything else and being gay is a young man's game," he says. "Now no one wants me. Being gay and being a woman has one big thing in common, which is that we both become invisible after the age of 42. Who wants a gay 50- year-old? No one, let me tell you. I could set myself on fire in a gay bar, and people would just light their cigarettes from me."
5. BILL BRYSON
I first heard the adorable Mr Bryson many years ago on ABC late night radio when I wasn't well and couldn't sleep. His voice was divine (a mix of American and British) and his intellect and wit even more attractive. After that I sought out all his travels books and happily guffawed my way through them. Lovely chap. To have lunch with him and Terry Pratchett would be bliss, sheer jovial bliss.
6. FRANK WOODLEY I found myself attracted to Frank (hey, it gets worse, there's a Dwayne coming up) when seeing him on Spicks & Specks. Again it's a man who can tickle my funny bone, but I think he's physically appealing too (yes, I admit it, he is free to tickle other things if he so wishes, there, I've said it). Although, not in character as in this photo of course. He looks better here (and not just because he's wedged in between Colin Lane and Andrew Denton).
7. HUGH LAURIE
I have been watching House this year. Apparently moody, mean, drug-addicted Americans do it for me cause I wasn't attracted to HL previously (with his usual British accent, and various silly voices on Blackadder, etc). Could it be the perennial stubble of beard? Mind you, I have always liked him, it's just that now I find him attractive too. Along with millions of middle-aged American women I'm sure. Oh well. They'll agree with the next one too.
8. HUGH GRANT *hangs head in shame* I only realised this recently. And oh Lord do I feel a cliche. Yes, I admit it, I enjoy some movies primarily because he is in them. I guess it's that naughty little boy thing he (always!) does. Oh, what a sucker I am. There, I have confessed. Just don't tell anyone, OK?
9. LAURENCE LLEWLYN-BOWEN
Well now. I've had one gay man, and now I have a man who really ought to be gay with his artsy-fartsy-ness, flamboyant dress sense, hair flicking and great love of posing. (Check out his website and you'll see what I mean.) When I was hooked-up to Foxtel I saw him applying his interior design skills on a British show, Homefront. I'm over this wee crush now, but I did find him somewhat compelling. I don't know, maybe I just believed what he believed: that he's the most gorgeous man who ever existed. But honestly, he had some rather marvellous suits and shirts. There's something alluring about a man who knows how to dress.
10. DWAYNE JOHNSON Admitting a crush on a man named Dwayne must score me some points! AKA The Rock. Yes, a WWE professional wrestler. Does he make up for all the sissy men? Well, no. Not if you've seen him play a gay man in Be Cool (quite amusing too). Thankfully that did nothing for me (even with those tight, baby-blue polyester pants... especially with those tight, baby-blue polyester pants...). It was actually The Scorpion King. Yup. Beefcake. I am not immune.
