Leveson Inquiry - in pictures

 

Um....

 

 Hmmm...

The truth?

Well...

 

 Do you want that much?

 

 You know, perhaps I could give you this much? If you like.  I'm trying to help you here.

 Oh, hey! You mean about Mr Hunt?  Oh man.  I can give you this much!

 Oh, you mean, did I...?  

Uh, can't say I recall.  No.  I don't recall.  

I WOULD HAVE remembered then I would think. 

And I would have likely phoned/emailed/met them in all innocence. 

Other than that I don't remember.  

I, I, I, I don't recall. ...

 

(Wow. I think they're really buyin' it!)

  

And in the news today...*

1.
An insane murderer is allowed to drive a taxi in Melbourne.

The Public Transport Minister, Lynne Kosky, says she can not guarantee a man who stabbed his wife to death can be prevented from driving taxis in Melbourne. The man was acquitted of murder on the grounds of insanity.

The Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal recently granted him a taxi licence against the advice of the Director of Public Transport.

Ms Kosky is vowing to change the law to prevent similar cases. "Now it will be mandatory refusal for anyone who has either a conviction, or if they're found not guilty by reason of insanity, so that will be now included in the legislation."

Gosh. Now isn't that a good idea.

But Ms Kosky says her options are limited in the current matter. "As a result of this decision we are fixing the legislation going forward," she said. "We will look at every avenue of appeal so that I can actually fix that difficulty, so that everybody can feel safe when they hop in a cab. That's what I want to be able to guarantee."

Yes. Please do 'fix that difficulty'.

(Note: On my list of things to do in the next couple of months is:
a) fly Qantas
b) ...to Melbourne)


2.
Now, staying in Victoria but leaving the shoddy decision-making skills of the The Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal for the abysmal decisions the Migration Review Tribunal, we find that the country doctor with the Down Syndrome son - who "is the only internal medicine specialist servicing 20,000 people in Horsham" and the community is desperate for him to stay and who pays for the extra costs of his son's care - is still going to be kicked out of Australia.

Dr Bernhard Moeller and his family have had their application for residency in Horsham refused because of the costs associated with the care of their son...

Onya Victoria. Your tribunals are doing just fantastic work.

(now it's up to Federal Minister Chris Evans to intervene.)


3.
Most surprising news is the opinion that something in the area of telecommunications will be ruined if Telstra DOES NOT participate.

(The Liberal Party is nuts.)


4.
Lastly, there's news of a US company: Puck Technology.

What do you think they do? Something in the area of R & D concerning hockey pucks? Plastic surgery perhaps? Maybe they develop and manufacture funny little complex digital thingamees that do stuff in other complex electrical thingamees...? Or... sell Whizzinators!

Ah, Whizzinators! you say. Yes. Surely they are some great new kitchen gadget! Perfect for a Christmas present! Or maybe some new high-tech machine I can use in the garden. Or... maybe it's

the Whizzinator penis - a lifelike device used to emit clean, realistically warm urine instead of the user's true urine.

Indeed! The perfect Christmas present for Ben Cousins. It comes with "its own heating and Yellow River urine packs". Although, the president and vice-president of Puck Technology - Gerald and Robert - have just experienced some difficulties of their own.

Two men who sold prosthetic penises enabling drug cheats to give fake urine samples have pleaded guilty to conspiracy in the United States, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported.

Puck Technology has stopped operating, the report said.

The thing is (no, not that thing, this thing; don't get distracted), I don't really understand why they were charged with conspiracy. Surely they didn't claim the penises were real...

(Maybe they'll see this as an opportunity to enter the market for jumbo-sized models for men aiming to impress at the urinals. Um. It's perhaps a somewhat small market...)


* I suppose this post heading could have read 'And in the news today... a bunch of dicks.'

Hierocles & Philagrius walk into a bar...

Just when Lad Litter was wondering who to turn to for Obama humour - surely quite a dearth of material after the overwhelming, generosity of Bush (see last post) - it looks as though we just need to look a lot further... back:

Ancient Greeks pre-empted Dead Parrot sketch

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."

For those who believe the ancient Greeks thought of everything first, proof has been found in a 4th century AD joke book featuring an ancestor of Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch where a man returns a parrot to a shop, complaining it is dead.

The 1,600-year-old work entitled "Philogelos: The Laugh Addict," one of the world's oldest joke books, features a joke in which a man complains that a slave he has just bought has died, its publisher said Friday.

"By the gods," answers the slave's seller, "when he was with me, he never did any such thing!"

In a British comedy act Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch, first aired in 1969 and regularly voted one of the funniest ever, the pet-shop owner says the parrot, a "Norwegian Blue," is not dead, just "resting" or "pining for the fjords."

The English-language book will appeal to those who swear that the old jokes are the best ones. Many of its 265 gags will seem strikingly familiar, suggesting that sex, dimwits, nagging wives and flatulence have raised laughs for centuries.


In many of the jokes, a slow-witted figure known as the "student dunce" is the butt of the jokes. In one, the student dunce goes to the city and a friend asks him to buy two 15-year-old slaves: No problem,' responds the dunce. If I don't find two 15-year-olds, I'll get one 30-year-old.'

In another, someone asks to borrow the student's cloak to go down to the country. "I have a cloak to go down to your ankle, but I don't have one that reaches to the country," he replies.

The manuscript is attributed to a pair of ancient comedians called Hierocles and Philagrius. Little is known about them except that they were most likely the compilers of the jokes, not the original writers.

Philagrius: So, there's this woman out hunting moose...

Hierocles: Hunting what?

Philagrius: Look, doesn't matter, she's cute.

Hierocles: Oh, ok. Continue.

Philagrius: So she's out with her gun...

Hierocles: Her what?!

Philagrius: Just go with me on this, Hiero. She's got her really big gun out, and from behind a tree steps a former President's intern, and she says, you think that's a big...

Hierocles: Oh, this is the cigar joke again isn't it. *sighs* I wish you'd get some new material Phil.

Useless Information! (Ears, Segues, Segways & Tequila)

1. You can make diamonds from tequila. And they're small and useless. Apparently even more useless than the ones used for jewellery - although, I'm thinking if you could rehydrate them somehow, they'd actually be far superior...


2. From Mexican scientists to sentimental scientists: The little Phoenix bot on Mars has gone nighty-night now due to the lack of solar power and the cold. Of course, brave little thing, it had actually soldiered on - sending info and pictures of snowfall (!) back to Earth - for much longer than expected.

Glen Nagle, a spokesman for the Canberra Deep Space Communication complex said "this little spacecraft" may still survive the cold however, and it has a wee program on board call 'Lazarus mode' which will allow it to call home if it gets enough power. He added:

"I actually find them quite amazing in terms of their resilience, their ability to actually last far longer than we ever expected. And for their human controllers here on Earth, [they are] quite attached to these spacecraft because it just shows sort of tenacity to keep on operating far beyond their lifetime."

Phoenix is already being missed by not just the scientists. The robot's personal Facebook page and blog has been inundated with farewell wishes.

The last message text message sent to 30,000 Phoenix fans via the robot's own Twitter mobile phone account was written in binary and translated to "triumph", with a heart shaped emoticon.

Cause robots have feelings too.





No they don't.



Anyway.


3. There's good news re the global financial crisis (yes, rly!). Well... for some locals of United Arab Emirates at least.

Emiratis have fretted for years over the loss of their culture, as social norms became more a product of the newcomers than of the nationals. Now, some are pinning their desires for a cultural salvation on the global economic downturn, which they hope will reduce the numbers of foreigners pouring into their country and give them a chance to reassert their customs and way of life.

“This is a blessing; we needed it,” Abdul Khaleq Abdullah, a political science professor at United Arab Emirates University, said of the fiscal crisis. “The city needs to slow down and relax. It’s good for the identity of our country.

A blessing indeed, as it may be the end of such images as this:





4. Obama's election victory, however, is not all good news. Quite depressing to some actually.

"Obama's election is great for our country but bad for comedy," said Michael Musto, a columnist for New York City's Village Voice. "He is an earnest, intelligent person trying to rescue a country in crisis and that's not all that hilarious."

Well, perhaps they could put Bush and Palin in charge of something like NASA or the FDA. Nothing like legally doped up astronauts hooning about the atmosphere to create comedic inspiration.

And hey, they could launch the first moose in space!



Of course, Sarah Palin would just go and shoot it down...


5. More presidential news: Peru has offered a hypo-allergenic dog to the Obamas (their daughter being allergic and all).

Claudia Galvez... director of the Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association.Galvez has a 4-month-old pedigree puppy to send to the Obama family. For now, she is calling it Ears because it has two large, perky ones.

"But if we send it to the United States, its official name will be Machu Picchu," she said, referring to the ancient Incan citadel, Peru's top tourist attraction.

Sticky-out ears eh?

This is sure to happen (you know the old chestnut, dogs look like owners and all that)!













Awww. They're both adorable if you ask me.

Gotta have something Supernatural for Halloween...

Jensen Ackles
&
Eye of the Tiger*

* 'twas a prank - they didn't give him the cue to stop at the initial drum solo, so he just went along with it and kept going...!

Job vacancy!

I heard these guys are needing crane operators...





...frequently.


(Best if you click on the photo for a larger version. Uh, unless you suffer from vertigo of course...)

stop laughing! i'm serious!

Unfortunately, the (potentially) spectacular Hadron Collider - which aims to discover extra dimensions and dark matter* - has broken a bit.
Initially scientists didn't think the problem was that major, but they've now realised it will take a lot longer to fix as there has been a leak of helium and as a result no one is taking their commands seriously due to their preternaturally squeaky high voices.




* Just look in my head...

A day at the beach!

I thought it was pretty cool having a horse beach in Perth.





















But of course, I didn't realise how many other animals are being excluded! I mean, we have lots of dog beaches in Perth as well, but really we're not going far enough.

Think of all the animals whose beach frolicking needs are being ignored! I mean, many other people would surely like to exercise their pets at the beach!


Lots of people now have pet rabbits...


























Their needs should be met too!




(Although, killer rabbits should of course be responsibly restrained.)




And, of course, cats miss out.






























It really is disgraceful.




One might like to walk one's pet monkey...





























And where are they going to go?!





Even cows enjoy a break away from their everyday routine.






















(from Skinnyde)




Don't forget your sunscreen!






























Lots of people have pet pigs these days.





















Look how happy he is! Surely the pigs of Perth are really not having their needs met.























We're really backwards in Perth. Just so old fashioned! Especially when you think how it could be...











































































(pic by Michael Poliza)



*sigh* Something really ought to be done.

What the bloody hell are you thinking?

I must say I love this idea of Paul Keating being on a shortlist for the new G'day UK tourism campaign. Especially as the target audience is the same one that found our last campaign offensive due to the mild expletive of 'bloody hell'.


Of course Keating would never say anything like 'Where the bloody hell are you?'



I think it would be more like:


G'day scumbags.* Where the bloody hell are you, you mangy maggots? I mean, if you haven't got the f**king ticker to come to Australia, you donkeys, then you're all tip and no iceburg!
And don't you bloody tell me to mind my language, you stupid intellectual hobos with your inane stupidities. You're absolute mugs, you know that?
What really amuses me and almost makes me spew is that a bunch of dimwitted, dullards; mangy maggot, foul-mouthed grubs such as you gutless clowns would resort to absolute gutter tactics such as getting me in a bikini. You useless desperadoes are an absolute joke.


(And this was just to the advertising execs in rehearsal.)


Fortunately Rudd believes: "It’s about as probable as having John Howard and Paul Keating team up for a dual number in the Eurovision song contest... And probably about as likely of taking the prize."


*Yes. I researched this. (every phrase is true. except the bikini...)

P.S. - Of course it could be worse. It could be Belinda Neal: 'Come to Australia, or your babies will be born demons. De-e-e-mons. Mwhahahahahaaaaaa!'

My imagined Clarke & Dawe interview of Rudd

(this is merely from my imagination - I hope they're not insulted!) a John Clarke & Bryan Dawe-type version of earlier post re Kev's visit to Japan:











Mr Rudd, thanks for your time. How are you enjoying Japan?

Oh, well, it's quite nice of course. Maybe not as nice as China, but quite nice.

And how did your meeting with the Prime Minister, Yasao Fukuda go?

Oh, pretty well Bryan, pretty well.

We all know that you're fluent in Mandarin Mr Rudd, but do you speak much Japanese?

Yes... a little...

What can you say in Japanese?

I know how to say, "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much."

Oh yes, and what else?

Well, that's it really.

Oh.

Yes. But I say it every chance I get Bryan. Oh, and Konnichiwa, I know that one.

Yes.

You mean 'hai' Bryan. See. Know that one too!

Hai. Yes. And your meeting went well?

Yes, I mean hai Bryan. I knew the poor guy's ratings were pretty low. You know, they're below 20 per cent, and everyone's giving him a hard time with a censure and all. So I thought I'd tell him a little bit about Brendan Nelson...

And how did that go?

That cheered him up no end Bryan!

Well that's good. So you got along well then? Even after all the tensions about your trip to China? And the whaling...?

Well, yes and no Bryan. I also said to him he can call me Kevin, you know, everyone calls me Kevin.

Yes, we know.

But then I thought I'd cheer the poor bloke up a bit further and say he can call me The Ruddster if he likes.

The Ruddster?

Yes, I mean, hai... You see, we have a little group where we like to call each other... well, you know. There's The Swanster and The Gillster - I sometimes like to call her The Gillmeister - and The Tannster...

I get the picture.

Yes, hai... So I told him he could be part of the group too!

The Fukster...?

Hai.

Oh dear...

Hai, I must say, it went a bit downhill from there Bryan.

I can imagine. So did you talk to him about the whaling?

Well yes Bryan. But, I was very diplomatic about it.

What did you say?

I said we'd better find a way to be diplomatic about it and once we find a way we'll do something about the whaling.

Diplomatically?

Yes. It's only polite Bryan.

And what did he say?

Well, he pointed out that our Defence Department killed 514 kangaroos recently. Our national emblem he said.

And what did you say?

I diplomatically pointed out to him that he was wrong Bryan!

Wrong...?

Yes. Hai! I told him that the kangaroo isn't our official emblem, not officially Bryan. And anyway, that's the Red kangaroo on our Coat of Arms and these were Grey kangaroos... Plus, I rather diplomatically explained to him that whales weren't swarming all over his old military bases and endangering grassland...!

Well no. They're whales.

Exactly Bryan. I think he got my point.

And what about your visit to China?

Oh, it was great Bryan!

No. I mean, how did you smooth things over there with Mr Fukuda?

Well. I told him I'd taken the same length of time, six months, that Howard did to visit. I told him seven Australian ministers have already visited Japan this year. I told him that I couldn't think of any other country, in fact, that had had such high-level ministerial visits! And I said, "How many Japanese government ministers have been able to visit Australia in the same time?" Hey? I don't think any.

So you handled that diplomatically too...

Of course Bryan. We don't want to upset them any further. I was going to add, "So nyahh!" But I think he got my point...

So apart from that, things went well?

Sort of Bryan. I mean. I did feel the need to bring up how some people in Victoria are none too happy about a Japanese company buying that wind farm thing in Tarwin Lower... And that didn't go down too well...

Oh.

You see, he thought it was Taiwan Lower. That he'd gotten one over on the Chinese!

Oh dear.

Hai. Indeed Bryan. He was very disappointed.

Hai... Were there any issues on which you did get along well?

Well, yes Bryan. We talked about the Toyota deal with the hybrid cars, and his plan to cut emissions and create some experimental carbon market thingamee. And we talked about my plan to save the planet with a Nuclear Non-Proliferations and Disarmament Commission, and I said I'd let him co-chair. You know the thing. The one to be headed by Biggles...

Yes, Biggles... Did you warn him about flying ashtrays?

Of course Bryan. Diplomatically...

And was he impressed with your ideas?

Oh, I think so Bryan. In fact. I gave him some advice, you know, to help him with his ratings and all. I told him...

To... deal with things diplomatically...?

Well, no...

To improve your education and health care systems? Get things right at home before you go out saving the world?

No Bryan...

I know! To do things in 'due season'?

No Bryan. But that's a good point. No. I told him that he ought to make a lot of spur of the moment announcements. You know. Get everyone's attention in some positive way. And the bigger the better!

But, only after he's thoroughly organised it and thought it through of course. You know, told the people involved what they'll be doing.

Hai... something like that Bryan. You know. A couple of hours' notice is always a good idea.
*laughs* You don't want people to think you're loopy or something! You know, for example, the hybrid car deal with Toyota. It was organised years ago that they'd be building these cars for us in Australia!

But, the head of Toyota did seem quite surprised about the $70 million dollars you offered. Tax payers' money...

Hai. They're not quite sure what to do with it actually...

So why did you offer it to them? Do you think you overdid it a bit?

No, no. Not at all Bryan! As I said to The Fuku... to Mr Fukuda. Big announcements. That's what you want. Then you'll be right mate!

I'm sure he was most appreciative. And where are you off to next Mr Rudd?

Jakarta. I'll be there this evening.

So, relations with Indonesia will need some of your diplomatic touch too?

I suppose so Bryan... But of course it's really about the big announcement I'll be making.

Oh, another one? What will it be about this time?

It's really a bit soon to be asking Bryan! I've got hours yet!




For the real (and superior!) thing, go here, or here.



Update 13/6: This is what they did last night.

Sticking to my theme...

ABC news reports:

Rudd dismisses Japan snub claims

At the National Press Club in Tokyo, Mr Rudd was asked why it had taken him more than six months to visit Japan, when he has already visited China, the US, the UK and Indonesia.

Mr Rudd replied, saying John Howard first visited Japan six months after taking office, and seven Australian ministers have already visited Japan this year.

''I can't point to any other country, frankly, which has had such high-level ministerial visits since Day One,'' he said.

"How many Japanese government ministers have been able to visit Australia in the same time? I don't think there are any." Mr Rudd said. Then added, "So nyahh!"

P.S. Regarding Rudd's conversation with PM Fukuda below... He's actually meeting with him tomorrow. I hope he's taken some pointers...!

Kevin goes to Japan!

Konnichiwa Prime Minister Fukuda!
*bows*
*says in Japanese* "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much".




Konnichiwa Mr Rudd san. Ogenki desu ka?
I did not know you spoke Japanese as well as Mandarin!






Uh... "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much". ...Hai!


Please, have a seat.


Oh, thank you. Hai! You know, you can call me Kevin if you like... Or, 'the Ruddster'. Heh. Even though you're not one of the group... You know, like 'the Swanster' and 'the Gillster', or sometimes I call her 'the Gillmeister.' You can be 'the Fukster'! Uh... hai!


*some sake is poured*


Tell me, have you been well?


Well yes, hai, thank you. But I did have a dodgy dagwood dog or something the other day, I don't know. All I know is the consequences were graphic! Ha!


Ah. But better than a bad blowfish, yes?


Hai! Yes! Ha ha. Speaking of seafood. I wanted to say that this thing with killing whales is really just not on. You know, I just feel I have to tell you this.


Yes. But, Mr Rudd san. I noticed that your Department of Defence killed 514 kangaroos recently... your national emblem I believe.


Well, no... I mean, it's not officially our national emblem, and that's a Red Kangaroo on the Australian Coat of Arms, you know, these were Grey Kangaroos...


Ah.


Hai.



*pause*














*both sip some warm sake*










Mr Fukuda. I hope this won't stop you giving us lots of money for our exports...


And Mr Rudd san, I hope you will continue to provide us with large amounts of coal and iron ore.


And Mr Fukuda san, I hope you will make some hybrid cars for us.


Sono you desu ne. Looks like we (already) will be!


*clink sake cups*


Speaking of saving the planet, did you know I've just announced that Japan will aim to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 60 to 80 per cent by 2050 and we're going to launch an experimental carbon market?


Really. That sounds great! *sips sake*


Yes. I compared the grand scope of the effort to the Industrial Revolution, and then I said "I believe that we need to make an effort to create a low-carbon revolution so that our descendants 200 years from now will look back and be proud of us." Impressive, hai?


Hai. Hai. Did you hear I've just announced that Australia will set up a Nuclear Non-Proliferations and Disarmament Commission?


Indeed? *sips sake*


Oh, and I visited Hiroshima. I wrote, "Let the world resolve afresh from the ashes of this city - to work together for the common mission of peace for this Asia-Pacific century, and for a world where one day nuclear weapons are no more."


Impressive Mr Rudd san.


I thought so. You know, you can be co-chair if you like!


Much appreciation Mr Rudd san. *mutters* Although I suppose you're happy to keep selling uranium to China... And who will be the head of this important commission?


Biggles.


Biggles?


Yeah, bonza bloke Biggles. But I'll warn you, it's a good idea to keep an eye out for flying ashtrays! Ha ha!


I shall make a note.


Yeah, ol' Bluey. He'll love it. Hey, I heard one of your lot is buying that Bald Hills wind farm project at Tarwin Lower in Victoria. You know, some Vics are none too pleased about it.


Victoria! Hontou desu ka? Really? Oh, Tarwin! Not Taiwan Lower! Ah...! Just when we thought we'd gotten one over on the Chinese... *gulps sake*



You know Mr Fukuda. This has been a jolly good chat. I hope you don't feel I've been ignoring you lately.


Mr Rudd san. I do have bigger things to worry about... elections Sunday did not go well for my party. I'm not very popular, rating below 20%, the opposition is bullying me and planning to censure me.... *gulps more sake*


Uh, well hopefully things will be better on my next visit! *shakes hands in a cheery manner*


Most likely I won't be here Mr Rudd san.


Oh. Below 20% you say? Uh, Mr Fukuda. Have you heard of Brendan Nelson?


Would he be like Gordon Brown?




Oh no, even better than Gordon Brown! Here. Let me give you his number...

POP-u-lar

Lord, but I am so tired of hearing "alcopops"! Alcopops, alcopops, alcopops!!! Will it ever go away?!! (It's really enough to drive one to drink...)

"Alcopops" is a silly Brit term. And it's a silly tax that Labor's applying too. Of course it's just for revenue and to close a tax 'loophole'. (Not that they'll steadily admit this.)

But don't get me wrong. I fully support it!!!

Obviously this is not because I have a hate of drunken teenagers... that would be a bit hypocritical as I was one myself (and never used a mixer - What? Dilute it? Horrors!!). (Oh, and when times were tough it was onto the 4-litre Fruity Lexia. Hey. If it was good enough for us...)

No, I'm in support of the tax hike cause the biggest consumers of premix drinks are big-gutted, 30-40-something, ute-drivin' blokes... (such as my ex for example, who was (regularly and overly) fond of premixed bourbon and colas, which I think is absolutely disgusting, as coke will rot your gut).

Plus, the tax increase is also targeting people who obviously have no taste. Which is only fair really. A 'Poor Taste Tax'. (Shit. Hope it doesn't apply to ex-boyfriends...)

Nutcase

Quokkas may be safe... but nuts should be protected from Buswell's (surely well-practiced) 'squirrel-grip'.


Will brassieres, chairs or cajones EVER FEEL SAFE AGAIN!!!!!?

Take note

If you're going to try and "placate carers angry about the budget", and you're in an elected position... then it's probably not a good idea to park your ministerial car in a disabled spot at the time.

THIS WEEK'S TOP 3 - STUBBORN & ANNOYING

1. Burma's Junta

Burma's military regime is being stubborn and annoying:

...delaying visas for UN workers and other relief agencies. While the regime said little, observers said the reason for hesitation was clear: the junta fears an influx of foreigners could spur fresh unrest following pro-democracy protests last September, which were put down violently.

Our PM is also finding them annoying:

The nation's military Government has refused permission for the US to send aid to the country, and its troops have been accused of doing little to help the clean-up.

Mr Rudd has told Fairfax Radio that it is "obscene" that Burma's junta is obstructing the world's efforts to help the cyclone victims.

"The Burmese regime is behaving appallingly," Mr Rudd told Fairfax Radio Network.

Mr Rudd spoke to Australia's ambassador Bob Davis this morning, who told him the Burmese military hadn't budged on the issue of foreign help overnight.

"(This is) not just frustrating our own aid agencies but frustrating the international community," he said.

Mr Rudd believes the junta may have even turned back two of four UN workers who arrived in Burma last night to carry out a critical assessment of the situation.

"This is an extraordinary reaction. What can we do about it?" he said.

"I'm hoping later today or over the course of the weekend to speak with the secretary-general of the United Nations to see what we can do globally to leverage the Burmese into a better course of action."

Four United Nations aid planes reached Burma overnight but there has been widespread criticism of the junta's reluctance to allow more aid in.

Oh, and there also looks like - apart from all the dead and the 1.5 million homeless - there's an outbreak of cholera.


UPDATE 9/5:

Rescue crews have been deported by Burma's military junta, just a day after arriving in the disaster-stricken nation.

The Burmese government declared it is "not ready" for foreign search-and-rescue teams following the devastating cyclone, which has left some 100,000 dead and millions without homes.

UPDATE 2:

Burma's junta has impounded two United Nations food aid shipments at Rangoon airport, officials said, triggering more outrage at the military government's refusal to accept a major international relief operation.

"We're going to have to shut down our very small airlift operation until we get guarantees from the authorities," a furious World Food Program (WFP) regional director Tony Banbury told CNN.

"It should be on trucks headed to the victims. You've seen the conditions they are in. That food is now sitting on a tarmac doing no good," Mr Banbury said.

UPDATE 10/5: Some aid getting through (Tim Costello, World Vision). And Rudd tells UN "Australia will offer further aid to Burma after the initial commitment of $3 million."



2. Hillary Clinton

Not that she can compete with the Burmese junta...






But what is she thinking? How froward can one be to stick around this long? [Although, really, worse is to come at #3]


Lies about being under sniper-fire; 'blends in' (oh, just remarkably so) with the 'blue-collars' with her sudden beer-swillin', gun-totin' ways; and wearing a saints bracelet to get the Catholic vote. Eg:

"You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught me how to shoot when I was a little girl," she said.

Asked when she last fired a gun or attended church services, Clinton said the query was "not a relevant question in this debate."

Also: '...in an instantly notorious interview with USA Today, Clinton was back to arguing her superior electability. “There was just an A.P. article posted that found how Senator Obama’s support among working, hardworking Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how the whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me,” she said. “ There’s a pattern emerging here.”'

Classy.

And now she's running out of money, and more and more people in her own party are wanting her to give up already!



Not even this is stopping her!













Although... it must hurt quite a bit. (Don't he look happy!)




Along with news headings such as:

Democrats wait and wonder when Hillary Clinton will concede defeat


The latest on Hillary's journey to the exit

And:

It's over

Dated 6th of March!!

Plus, UPDATE:

And the New York Post hit the streets with cruel tabloid succinctness: a picture of the home-state senator over a single word—“TOAST!”—in block letters three inches high.

Someone show her the light! The green one. With E - X - I - T on it...





3. Liberal Party Leaders


EXAMPLE A: Brendan Nelson








Back to 9%... again.







Last week gave us, with an I-just-watched-Bambi-and-cried-my-eyes-out expression, the great comment of:

Every mother loves her baby, every baby is valued and Mr Rudd should value all babies equally.

We should not live in Australia where Mr Rudd thinks that some babies are more valuable than others, it's very, very important that Mr Rudd understand that every mother loves her baby and this should be an Australia where all babies are equal.

(Er... They're measuring the finances of the P-A-R-E-N-T!)



UPDATE 10/5: Lenore's perfectly titled column 'Rich mums love their children too, say Libs' quotes Brendan from 1998 defending the government's mean-testing of the childcare cash rebate:

"I thought, what an extraordinary situation where you can have someone who I know has a household income in excess of half a million dollars actually thinking about changing a vote on the basis of whether or not they will receive a non-means tested childcare cash rebate," he said.

"The whole point is any government needs to ensure that those who are most in need are the people who receive most of the benefits that government provides. You have to ask yourselves, have we lost the plot or haven't we?"

See, Rudd's not the only one who can ask himself (sensible) questions. Perhaps ol' 9%-Brendan should get back into the habit.



Then there's this article:

RECALLING British prime minister Harold Wilson's observation that a week is a long time in politics, Brendan Nelson says that the 23 weeks since the federal election have been a political eternity. It shows. The Opposition is displaying all the symptoms of relevance deprivation syndrome, as former Labor minister Gareth Evans once described it.

I was thinking more Cerebral Deficit Syndrome meself...

And he reckons the problem of inflation is kinda made up. Article continues:

The Opposition's political strategy is not hard to divine. As quickly as it can, it wants to shift the blame for anything that goes wrong with the economy from the Coalition to Labor. ... But constructing this political edifice has strained his credibility. It is not only the Government taking inflation seriously. The Reserve Bank said on Tuesday that "inflation in Australia has been high over the past year" and it has been putting up interest rates to counter it. Everyone who buys petrol or does the shopping knows prices are going up. Yet Nelson is seriously suggesting that if only the Government stopped talking about it, it would go away.

(cartoon source)

And Liberal CDS is catching...


EXAMPLE B: Troy Buswell

Party decides to keep him after his insulting sexist comments, bra-strap-snapping and chair sniffing shenanigans.

Even though they are expecting MORE SUCH THINGS TO COME!

THE woman at the centre of the seat-sniffing scandal involving West Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell says he writhed in mock sexual pleasure during the incident.
The woman... told The West Australian newspaper that Mr Buswell sniffed her chair twice within 10 minutes, while groaning and making "sexually satisfying noises".

"We finished the meeting (with a constituent), I walked the bloke downstairs and out of parliament, and when I got back I walked into the room to pick up my notepad from the desk and Buswell started grabbing the chairs going `aahww, which one did you sit in? I'll be able to tell'," she said.

"And then he picked them up and started sniffing them and groaning and making sexually satisfying noises. I went, `you're sick, knock it off', and grabbed my staff and walked out, but he didn't pay attention to a word I said."

The woman said she was standing with colleagues about 10 minutes later when one of them knocked on Mr Buswell's door to ask one of his staff to lunch.

"Buswell opened the door really wide, grabbed a chair and started sniffing it, lifted it above his head sniffing it and breathing in, going `aaww yeah'," the woman said.

"It was awful. My colleagues, the four men I worked with, were just stunned into silence."

1. Is this not enough?


2. Is not more of this not enough?


3. What WILL be ENOUGH to GET RID OF ALL THESE STUBBORN AND ANNOYING BUGGERS!

Woof!

Troy Buswell has been dealing with some difficulties lately. WA’s Liberal Party appears to be in competition with the federal party as they create new definitions for ‘leadership’.

Not only has Mr Buswell had to admit to being drunk and snapping open a woman's bra, plus making sexist remarks against other women in Parliament. Now he has had to deny (13 times in one breath) and then admit to sniffing the chair of a female staffer after a meeting in his office.

It was alleged that Mr Buswell lifted her chair and started sniffing it in front of her after she had finished interviewing a constituent.

He then allegedly repeated the act moments later in front of several Liberal staff members.

“I was just checking to see if the bitch was in heat”, the gentleman explained.

It's understood that the woman had warned Mr Buswell about his pranks before.

On a previous occasion, he had allegedly crawled around on his hands and knees in front of the same woman pretending to be her husband.

Luckily he is well supported by his party's minister for women's interests so that he won't be losing any female votes in the upcoming election:

Shadow women’s interests minister Helen Morton said Mr Buswell, who had recognised his past behaviour was unacceptable, had her full support.

“There is an absolute commitment on behalf of Troy. He has made a huge effort to understand the insensitivities of (that) behaviour and has made a huge forward movement,” she said.

Yes. It is good of her to recognise and explain to voters that a man who has to make a "huge effort" to know that sniffing a woman's chair is at all wrong, really would be making a "huge forward movement".



It will also be a boost for him to hear that the well revered and 'secure' Liberal leader Brendan Nelson has today said: "Mr Buswell enjoys my confidence and my support."



Also, the WA "deputy Liberal leader, Kim Hames, stood by Mr Buswell, while admitting there was no one to replace him."



Really. How much support can a guy take?



Apparently he did it just to get a laugh... He must be so pleased now that he’s (thoroughly) succeeded.