Windsor's shining moment in Question Time

TONY WINDSOR:

There's been a lot of discussion today about history. Two years ago, it's been discussed here today, that the Prime Minister made a certain comment in the run up to an election.

As most of us would be aware, the Prime Minister didn't win the election, she didn't win the election. This is a hung parliament.

[Windsor adds in an aside in direction of LNP front bench--]You might learn something from a little bit of history here. You might be a little bit interested.

As the Leader of the Opposition would know very well, as the Prime Minister would know very well, and the Deputy Prime Minister for that matter would know: The decision to do something about climate change, whether it be through an Emission Trading Scheme or a carbon pricing arrangement, but to put a price on carbon, was a condition of the formation of government.

The Leader of the Opposition knows that very well, because on a number of occasions he actually begged for the job. Begged for the job.

You've never denied it Tony! You've never denied it and you won't!

He begged for the job, and he made the point, not only to me but to others in that negotiating period, that he would do anything to get that job.

[Shot of Abbott. Much yelling]

You would well remember, and your colleagues should be aware, that the only codicil you put on that, was that: 'I will do anything Tony to get this job, the only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse.'

[Yells. Guffaws. PYNE with a point of order... Asks Windsor talk to the SSO]

WINDSOR:

The Leader of the Opposition is well aware of the discussions that were held. It was a condition of the formation of government. He was prepared to do anything if in fact he'd been called upon, and if he had been asked to put in place an Emission Trading Scheme or a carbon tax for that matter, he would well have done it.

The fact that he wasn't asked is something of very, very good judgement in my view.

In terms of the substantive issue, I support the SSO because I think it's a debate that we should be very proud of. I'm very proud to have supported

[Interjections. Member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, evicted]

I'm very proud to have supported doing something about climate change. And I think history will judge those who have had the guts to stand up and actually try and address what is a difficult issue, in a difficult parliament, that this man,  the Leader of the Opposition, was quite prepared to do that if he'd been given the nod on that particular day. 'I will do anything, anything to get this job.' They were the comments and people know that and they should know it because you are an absolute disgrace in the way in which you're wandering around on this particular issue.

You have exactly the same target as the Emission Trading Scheme pricing arrangements. You have exactly the same target in terms of the 1990 levels by 2020. And you have the audacity to actually say to people that you're going to achieve that target through a much more expensive arrangement than putting a price on carbon. Particularly given the history of that you've had in terms of this particular issue.

John Howard was someone that I had disagreements with, from time to time, but at least he recognised that we have to do something in term of emissions in this world.

The opportunities that exist in regional Australia, in terms of pricing arrangements and the clean energy funds, etc. I would ask that the Leader of the Opposition and other members within the chamber, just look at the meat industry in the next few months. Just look at the way in which they are going to address some of these issues. And it's all very well… Come back in a few months and tell me if I'm wrong; I don't mind that. There are enormous opportunities, enormous opportunities, in terms of renewable energy…

[Speaker announces his time has expired]

[Windsor sits, grins at Abbott, points to phone. *gotcha*]

(pic1 via AAP photog. Alan Porritt) 
(pic3 via @OzEquitist)

The good & the beautiful*

Mmmm.

Marat Safin is playing Federer tonight.

Although I'm usually hoping the matches are over quickly so I don't have to get to bed so darn late, I'm now hoping that this one lasts a lo-o-ong time (and, um, maybe that Safin gets sweaty and has to change his shirt...

frequently).

Sport. Is just so good for you.





* Just had to after the next-to-last post. Too easy.

The good and the ugly.

Good

The editor of The West Australian "newspaper" has resigned. Hurrah. Mayhap WA will have an actual newspaper again one day. I've heard that when he started he instructed staff to only write articles that were controversial and anything that wasn't defined at controversial was to be made controversial, and all else (ie. 'news') excluded.


Bizarre

a) Medals of Freedom given to the guys who helped Bush start a war. Freedom... War... Ah! What's the diff!

b) Little Johnny Howard being called 'the man of steel'.










Ah! What's the diff!


Great

My holiday! Didn't get to do as much as I'd planned sightseeing-wise (hey, there's always next time!) but had lots of fun and it all went too quickly. Am looking forward to my next holiday now. More! More! More! I was totally spoiled and loved it. Went to some great shindigs, got some lovely Chrissy prezzies and had all sorts of bizarre and unique offers New Year's Eve (some of which could have lead to my arrest had I agreed). So, much fun was had (and additionally contemplated) all round. Lucky, lucky me.


Hope you all are having a lovely start to the new year.

Hierocles & Philagrius walk into a bar...

Just when Lad Litter was wondering who to turn to for Obama humour - surely quite a dearth of material after the overwhelming, generosity of Bush (see last post) - it looks as though we just need to look a lot further... back:

Ancient Greeks pre-empted Dead Parrot sketch

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."

For those who believe the ancient Greeks thought of everything first, proof has been found in a 4th century AD joke book featuring an ancestor of Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch where a man returns a parrot to a shop, complaining it is dead.

The 1,600-year-old work entitled "Philogelos: The Laugh Addict," one of the world's oldest joke books, features a joke in which a man complains that a slave he has just bought has died, its publisher said Friday.

"By the gods," answers the slave's seller, "when he was with me, he never did any such thing!"

In a British comedy act Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch, first aired in 1969 and regularly voted one of the funniest ever, the pet-shop owner says the parrot, a "Norwegian Blue," is not dead, just "resting" or "pining for the fjords."

The English-language book will appeal to those who swear that the old jokes are the best ones. Many of its 265 gags will seem strikingly familiar, suggesting that sex, dimwits, nagging wives and flatulence have raised laughs for centuries.


In many of the jokes, a slow-witted figure known as the "student dunce" is the butt of the jokes. In one, the student dunce goes to the city and a friend asks him to buy two 15-year-old slaves: No problem,' responds the dunce. If I don't find two 15-year-olds, I'll get one 30-year-old.'

In another, someone asks to borrow the student's cloak to go down to the country. "I have a cloak to go down to your ankle, but I don't have one that reaches to the country," he replies.

The manuscript is attributed to a pair of ancient comedians called Hierocles and Philagrius. Little is known about them except that they were most likely the compilers of the jokes, not the original writers.

Philagrius: So, there's this woman out hunting moose...

Hierocles: Hunting what?

Philagrius: Look, doesn't matter, she's cute.

Hierocles: Oh, ok. Continue.

Philagrius: So she's out with her gun...

Hierocles: Her what?!

Philagrius: Just go with me on this, Hiero. She's got her really big gun out, and from behind a tree steps a former President's intern, and she says, you think that's a big...

Hierocles: Oh, this is the cigar joke again isn't it. *sighs* I wish you'd get some new material Phil.

Useless Information! (Ears, Segues, Segways & Tequila)

1. You can make diamonds from tequila. And they're small and useless. Apparently even more useless than the ones used for jewellery - although, I'm thinking if you could rehydrate them somehow, they'd actually be far superior...


2. From Mexican scientists to sentimental scientists: The little Phoenix bot on Mars has gone nighty-night now due to the lack of solar power and the cold. Of course, brave little thing, it had actually soldiered on - sending info and pictures of snowfall (!) back to Earth - for much longer than expected.

Glen Nagle, a spokesman for the Canberra Deep Space Communication complex said "this little spacecraft" may still survive the cold however, and it has a wee program on board call 'Lazarus mode' which will allow it to call home if it gets enough power. He added:

"I actually find them quite amazing in terms of their resilience, their ability to actually last far longer than we ever expected. And for their human controllers here on Earth, [they are] quite attached to these spacecraft because it just shows sort of tenacity to keep on operating far beyond their lifetime."

Phoenix is already being missed by not just the scientists. The robot's personal Facebook page and blog has been inundated with farewell wishes.

The last message text message sent to 30,000 Phoenix fans via the robot's own Twitter mobile phone account was written in binary and translated to "triumph", with a heart shaped emoticon.

Cause robots have feelings too.





No they don't.



Anyway.


3. There's good news re the global financial crisis (yes, rly!). Well... for some locals of United Arab Emirates at least.

Emiratis have fretted for years over the loss of their culture, as social norms became more a product of the newcomers than of the nationals. Now, some are pinning their desires for a cultural salvation on the global economic downturn, which they hope will reduce the numbers of foreigners pouring into their country and give them a chance to reassert their customs and way of life.

“This is a blessing; we needed it,” Abdul Khaleq Abdullah, a political science professor at United Arab Emirates University, said of the fiscal crisis. “The city needs to slow down and relax. It’s good for the identity of our country.

A blessing indeed, as it may be the end of such images as this:





4. Obama's election victory, however, is not all good news. Quite depressing to some actually.

"Obama's election is great for our country but bad for comedy," said Michael Musto, a columnist for New York City's Village Voice. "He is an earnest, intelligent person trying to rescue a country in crisis and that's not all that hilarious."

Well, perhaps they could put Bush and Palin in charge of something like NASA or the FDA. Nothing like legally doped up astronauts hooning about the atmosphere to create comedic inspiration.

And hey, they could launch the first moose in space!



Of course, Sarah Palin would just go and shoot it down...


5. More presidential news: Peru has offered a hypo-allergenic dog to the Obamas (their daughter being allergic and all).

Claudia Galvez... director of the Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association.Galvez has a 4-month-old pedigree puppy to send to the Obama family. For now, she is calling it Ears because it has two large, perky ones.

"But if we send it to the United States, its official name will be Machu Picchu," she said, referring to the ancient Incan citadel, Peru's top tourist attraction.

Sticky-out ears eh?

This is sure to happen (you know the old chestnut, dogs look like owners and all that)!













Awww. They're both adorable if you ask me.

Feeling Newsy! (yes, there's news other than the financial crisis - which I won't mention... promise.)

Just reading some news today.

It's variously...

Good:
The army chief is sticking to his decision to axe the Royal Australian bagpipe band. Hooray! Finally they're seeing some sense that the sound of (handsomely-skirted) men squeezing and torturing kittens in bags just to hear them squeal is not a good idea (except in a serious skirmish). Perhaps that is why they are taking these *ahem* musicians and turning them back into (much needed) soldiers.

News that's less good:
"Lt-Gen Gillespie said he had instructed the army director of music to maintain a pipe capability for ceremonial occasions when bagpipes were needed." NEEDED!!!? And that this "would be done through reserve pipers..." Ah, so close...


Good-ish (for some):
NSW politicians are continuing to provide the nation with amusements as their Nationals party leader said something about a Liberal MP: "If I had my way, I'd march him out at dawn, put a blindfold on him and shoot him."

Quite succinct and clear really. I don't quite see the problem.

Although he's apologised, the mamby-pamby MP refuses to accept the apology as he is still enjoying sulking. He said "the comments represented a threat to himself, promoted violence and were offensive to the victims of gun crimes." Ah, nothing like pollies for some neat hyperbole.
(Approaching it with humour would be much more charming... although pouts do suit some people.)


Seriously good:

"Australia has expanded financial sanctions against Burma, targeting more of the nation's top officials, ministers and military leaders."

Less good:
McCain and Palin (who only took on the task of VP nominee because the Republican party was more than happy to spend $225,000 on her wardrobe) have some fodder to attack with by taking one of Joe Biden's remarks out of context. He said basically the new president will be tested by an international crisis (yup, I'd say one or two are happening already). So the Republican argument is that McCain has been tested already.

Yes. And found wanting.


Good news:
Obama is 10 points ahead of McCain. And only 2 weeks to go! And this on top of (and likely due to) the wonderful news of Republican Colin Powell supporting him (boy, did that make my day)!

Also noice:

Mr. Obama’s favorability is the highest for a presidential candidate running for a first term in the last 28 years of Times/CBS polls. Mrs. Palin’s negative rating is the highest for a vice-presidential candidate as measured by The Times and CBS News. Even Dan Quayle, with whom Mrs. Palin is often compared because of her age and inexperience on the national scene, was not viewed as negatively in the 1988 campaign.

But sadly of course, his grandma ain't doin' so good, so he's going to go see her for a couple of days. Tragically he never got to his mother's death bed in time when she died, so he's obviously not wanting this to happen again.
If one can find anything good from this it will be that voters may have some empathy for him, think he's a nice grandson and also be reminded that half his heritage is white ('Lookit dat Billy-Bob!! He gots a white gran'ma like me!!! Hey. Maybe he ain't so black afta all!')


Strange news:
French Prez Sarkozy (I love saying 'Sarkozy'... don't know why; especially in the French manner, Sar-ko-ZEE!) is threatening to sue a company making voodoo dolls. I think the one offending him is the Sarkozy doll actually.

It has quotes of his over it and instructs the owner to insert pin 'here', eg: "Get lost you pathetic arsehole." (I hope that's actually in French: Obtenez-perdu vous abruti pathétique!)

He's not annoyed about the pins and sudden pains about his person so much as his exclusive rights to his image... and copyrighted insults.


And, again, Good: A new vet hospital in the US is helping wounded military vets.
In case that's confusing I'll be clear: a $15 million animal hospital has been opened at "Lackland Air Force Base, offering a long overdue facility that gives advanced medical treatment for combat-wounded dogs."
Maybe less than 'good' news really as the article points out that about 2500 dogs work with military units - finding explosive devices, drugs (for their handler's r&r) and land mines. Poor puppies! And do they get paid??

Dogs injured in Iraq or Afghanistan get emergency medical treatment on the battlefield and are flown to Germany for care. If necessary, they'll fly on to San Antonio for more advanced treatment -- much like wounded human personnel.

The hospital includes "CT scanning equipment, an intensive care unit and rehab rooms with an underwater treadmill and exercise balls" (the trainer's apparently). Plus, a "behavioral specialist has an office near the lobby." (I'm hoping there's some Schmackos in there.)


But also 'good' news because I get to use this photo again:

'Man, this better earn me some Schmackos...'

Rudd's To Do list

As noted by Lenore Taylor, Rudd and pals actually have "too much substance, too much policy fibre for the electorate to digest in just one electoral term." Although they can be accused of spin in that they are doing the early Blair government mistake of daily announcing some new message as they aim to impress themselves upon the 24-hour news cycle, they actually are doing heaps behind the scenes but just not talking about it enough. It seems they are either stuck in a pre-election/opposition approach... or just think us lot are really dense and have minuscule attention spans. I am quite offended and/or disappointed. Give us "a statesmanlike prime minister with big ideas and the courage to back them"! Yes! We want that! Don't talk to us like a bunch of children who prefer to watch 30 second commercials rather than the main program.


Anyway. His to do list:

The emissions trading regime, with its price ramifications for households, drivers, businesses, farmers, exporters and, well, pretty much everybody in the country really, would probably be enough new policy to be getting on with all on its own.

But then there's a complete review of the tax system and all the payments people get from government.

Oh, and an industry policy review, which takes in everything they pay to business.

And through the Council of Australian Governments they are reworking all the payments they make to the states as well.

So, ol' Ruddster is doing plenty. And that he will take on such things (unlike Howard) is why we love him. But Lenore is obviously as frustrated as me that he keeps singing and dancing - and a new routine every day! - when he just needs to speak sensibly about the important work he's doing. Tell us about the long-term hard work. We can handle it!

Has he considered that voters' increasing disappointment (though, not disillusionment) could be due to such an approach? That people may need to be reminded of the work he is doing instead of daily bits and pieces?

As Georges's article today notes:

Like most Australians, Liberal voter Jon Warner was prepared to give the fresh-faced Mr Rudd a fair go when he replaced Mr Howard as prime minister.

The advertising director from Sydney's northern beaches was impressed by Mr Rudd's early move to ratify the Kyoto Protocol - a "nice bit of PR" - and the apology to the Stolen Generations. "His heart's in the right place," the 44-year-old Mr Warner said.

But over the past few months, he has grown increasingly sceptical of Mr Rudd's frenetic leadership style. "There's all the bells and whistles but not a lot of content - he's the master of the 30-second grab." His mate Luke Cook, 27, who also works in advertising, said the word on the street is: "Kevin 07, Mistake 08."

Give us the headline act Mr Rudd. We're tired of ads.

B is for...?

The budget may be requiring "tough decisions" (and no bunnies out of bonnets), but surely there are also tough decisions for voters of Big Brother housemates'!*

Yes. I have just watched almost an entire episode of Big Mouth. Never managed to watch one of its previous incarnations as BB Up Late (the only snippets I caught once were of males bragging about female prey they had caught: "Yeah, mate. She really wanted me." etc, etc, with details too gory to repeat. That was enough for me.) But, of course, tonight Paul McDermott and I are too excited to sleep on Budget Eve (yes, I saw a bit of Good News Week too, oh the shame of admitting to all this Channel 10 viewing when surely you'd pictured me permanently glued to good ol' wholesome Aunty/ABC (with a bit of oh-so-raunchy SBS on the side... (and I'm just talking about the banter between its news hosts (riveting!)))).


Anyway, in case you missed it, here's some highlights:


One guest was Angela Conway from the Australian Family Association. (Egad, I'm yawning just typing that!) Yes, the audience was as thrilled as you would expect (and yes, this show has an audience - grown men did 'woo hoo!' in a loud and exuberant fashion). Being a kind of expert she confidently explained that it was 'not suitable' to put 17 year old Corey on the show because it has 'put him in the spotlight'. Yes. Poor Corey. By getting an agent and organising an 'east coast party tour', you know, which he had to 'postpone' due to 'media commitments', you could tell that he's really been trying to avoid that spotlight thing.



Another guest was newly-evicted Saxon. Oh, Saxon. Gosh. Won't you be missed. He looks like beefy, tattooed Popeye but with a Kewpie Doll head.

It's lovely to know that he's changed from being a bigoted skinhead to a... uh... ummm....


Well, anyway... In the house he brightened up the conversations:

Saxon: "I was like, so close to getting a swastika tattooed on me"
Flabbergast housemate: "Shut u-u-up!"
Saxon: "Yeah man. ... Full on lucky I didn't..."


Also re housemate Dixie - rather musically: "Baa baa fat chick, Dixie is a fool."


Just endearing really.


Thankfully Dixie, although often whingey, has some sense occasionally: "I'm in a house with a bunch of fuckwits."

Indeed...



Saxon also seriously and quite cleverly pointed out to the female host (Rebecca Wilson? who knows... the hosts are that engaging they're near invisible) re his 'cheeky' behaviour with the lads: "It's what boys do. I mean you're a woman, you should understand that."

Uh... yeah...


And what would this BB show be without some nudity (...well, non-existent one would guess)! So, we get to perve *cringes* on narcissistic Rory stripping off to flaunt his manhood (and I use the term 'man' oh so generously) next to Dixie. "You happy you saw dick Dixie?" Not getting quite the reaction he'd hoped for: "I don't want to see your penis. You're like my brother." (Uh, pre-pubescent?)


Other sexual areas of discussion include housemates revealing exciting locales of their (either few or hyperbolically numerous) sexual exploits. And when I say exciting...

I don't mean it.


The panelists also define Nathan (who apparently is quite the honey... but I have (and I proudly admit this) not watched enough of Big Brother to even confidently identify who Nathan is, so this quality of his has gone entirely unrecognised) as "a cryer". Yes. The women have obviously pondered upon him in a profound fashion during their quiet moments and have concluded that he would be the type to cry after sex.

...!


Had enough yet?

But I haven't told you how one guest described 'old nanna' Terri!: "She's no Madonna." (No kiddin'.)

And that the panelists, although they hated Corey to start with, now think he's "a really nice kid"! (Although, one of them was momentarily sensible: "Throwing things at Corey sounds like a great way to spend time!")

Or even how they liked Ben at the start, cause he was all intelligent and that, but now they see there might be a 'dark side' to Ben, that he's 'a bit NQR' (yep. she said 'NQR'. obviously up to speed with the youth of today. impressive.) and that he's actually "not a very nice person... not a very lovely boy". Oh gosh, oh dear. Could that be due to comments such as (re very-blonde Brigette, and in front of very-blonde Brigitte): "I was surprised that a girl with her looks had only been tapped once."

Well, as one half of the barely noticeable hosts said: "You've gotta be completely shallow."

Indeed. And splashing in the shallow end can be somewhat useful when you've been overloaded with depressing news (personal and global) along with the very wonderful and important but even more depressing Four Corners.
So 'on ya!' empty-headed entertainment and the momentarily distracting triviality of Big Bother Brother (look, Brigette is weeping uncontrollably cause she can't wear her own clothes! Oh my!)! And, as Big Mouth concluded:

"VOTE EARLY! VOTE OFTEN!!!"

* Yes. A Big Brother post. Oh!!! Will the (whatever is remaining) dignity of my blog ever survive!?!!!!!

oh hai

me not bin feelin so grate...












no, not dat problem...! (SCROLL UP! SCROLL UPPPP!!!! ...dammit!)











no, no... silly!





more like dis...



















nah, me feelin betta now, but tanks anyway!

Just awaiting council approval

Seriously.

Brewer Ross Smith plans to recreate the original Stonehenge on his property at Margaret River in time for the next summer solstice on December 21.

The structure will be made with 2500 tonnes of granite quarried from Esperance on WA's south coast.

"I'm doing it because I can," Mr Smith told AAP.

[Unlike the original] ...anyone visiting the Australian replica will be able to touch and play around a new and complete [Hey, "complete"! So surely superior] version of the monument, Mr Smith said.

The Henge, as it will be known, [guess he doesn't have to worry 'bout copyright...] will span 33 metres in a two-hectare area on his Margaret River property.

"I think it will attract a lot of tourists to the [er, tourist] region, about 200,000 to 300,000 per year," he said.

It will be hired out for weddings and a visitation fee will be in place, said Mr Smith, an entrepreneur [no kidding].

The plan has its critics in an area renowned for fine wine, chocolate and cheese.

"It's been mixed (the reaction)," Mr Smith said.

"You're always going to get your knockers but I don't mind.

"Thirty years ago Margaret River was infested with dairy cows and there was no wine here." [Nor, funnily enough, ancient Celtic architecture. And how we have felt the lack!]

Mr Smith says the local council has backed his plan, but it has yet to be approved.

The area, well known for its cheeses, will soon have a lot more cheese it seems. Jeez, just all class. Why can't he be sensible and erect a giant structure of fruit like other states!!?

Apparently she 'misspoke'

Whoops:

Clinton had last week told of coming under sniper fire when she arrived at Bosnia's Tuzla airbase in March 1996.

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base," Clinton had recounted.

But reporters who accompanied her on the 1996 trip have since produced TV footage that shows nothing of the sort, as Clinton, accompanied by her daughter Chelsea, greeted wellwishers on their arrival and paused to chat.

Reruns of TV reports from the time showed Clinton being welcomed by smiling officials on the tarmac at Tuzla, and listening as an eight-year-old Bosnian girl read out a poem.

Hey, poetry recitations have me running for cover too.


Eeeeek!

Hey big boy...

Is that a drug stash in your trousers, or are you just ecstatic to see me?


(sorry. couldn't resist.)

Me is high tech now

Broadband finally, finally connected. 512/128k. Yet, although an improvement, it don't seem much faster than dial up! Guess I'll have to wait for Rudd to get his 'bringing Oz into the 21st century' broadband thang happening.

Also have been suffering with no dial up as they terminated it earlier than I asked (obviously setting a date was too complex for them - and so you know, I did this so I wouldn't have to call them again). I said to the helpful person on the other end of the line (after yet again waiting half an hour for a live human) you are very nice but I hope I don't have to deal with your company ever again. And just to think, they're not even Telstra! *shudders*


So you want goss on the new digs eh? Well. It's on a quieter street* *yay* but has noisier neighbours, who are a bit on the odd side, *boo*.

The highlights are shiny new jarrah floors and a large and gorgeous kitchen. A good size for any place but mine is on the small side so it's quite luxurious.

Two lovely outdoor areas, and I again have a fair bit of birdlife around me - although they're still finding the new baths and feeders, you can't imagine how excited I was when I finally saw a wattlebird having an enthusiastic bathe the other day!
And the gardens have established trees and some climbers and balgas ('black boys' for the politically incorrect (would that be Howard?)). But the beds still have a lot of room which I'm quite happy about and am making a list and checking it twice...
Sorry, the ubiquitous Christmas Carols seem to have affected me.
My point is I'm loving thinking about the garden and all the plants I'm going to put in, including what's going to go in the herb garden.
Generally I'm planning on some cottage-type plants as well as some natives like Grevillea for the birds. Oh, and I've some rose bushes which has been nice for filling the house with floral abundance. It's been a while since I had roses, or even my own garden to create. Happy happy joy joy. (Anyone else get happy about such things?)

Oh, and joy of joys I have a bath again! This was particularly useful yesterday: I got home all hot and sweaty and plonked myself into a icy cold bath. As I closed my eyes in shock and soon bliss I sensed a sizzling and a hiss of steam. And it's only the start of summer! But don't fret pets: I have air con. Can't live without that! I'm a delicate bloom you know.


* A street in which people, unless walking a canine, curiously tend to carry bags an awful lot, including suitcases. (And no, I'm nowhere near an airport.)
---

PS - Can't go without saying YAY! We have a female PM today!!

Panties for Peace

Calling all women.

Your knickers have the power! Don't be afraid to use it!



Women in several countries have begun sending their panties to Myanmar embassies in a culturally insulting gesture of protest against the recent brutal crackdown there, a campaign supporter said Friday.

"It's an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture,'' said Liz Hilton, who supports an activist group that launched the "Panties for Peace'' drive earlier this week.

The group, Lanna Action for Burma, says the country's superstitious generals, especially junta leader Gen. Than Shwe, also believe that contact with women's underwear saps them of power.

Hilton said women in Thailand, Australia, Singapore, England and other European countries have started sending or delivering their underwear to Myanmar missions following informal coordination among activist organizations and individuals.

"You can post, deliver or fling your panties at the closest Burmese Embassy any day from today. Send early, send often!'' the Lanna Action for Burma website urges.



Wow. I'm gonna make my knickers as *evil* as possible.
Perhaps I will even write "FREE BURMA" on them...

...in blood. *Mwahahahahahahaaaa!*

TAKE THAT THAN SHWE!!!
Wooo hooo!!!!

Burma's Embassy in Australia:

22 Arkana St, YARRALUMNA, ACT 2600

SPDC Embassies Worldwide

Hmmm.... I wonder if I will need to put a 'hazardous material' warning on the package...


You know, this is also rather practical. What a great way to recycle! Don't throw away those ratty old, fraying at the edges or (even better) stained knickers! Post them to Burmese authorities and save the world at the same time!

Also useful for Miss America contestants. Instead of that stale old "What's most important to me is world peace" reply, they can say, "I'm actually working toward world peace. I send my dirty knickers to the generals in Burma! *hee*"

“The people of Burma are doing what they can inside [the country],” said Liz Hilton. “We should do whatever we can outside. Most of us are not politicians, we are not powerful people. But women do have the power of their panties—let’s use that.”

Ah Liz, I salute you.

What's that Lassie? Jimmy's got a bomb?

Dog driving you bonkers? Needs to be active every day and taken for a walk? Can jump a fence, and "loves food"? What a pain in the arse! Get rid of Enlist your mutt today! Australia needs your chihuahua! It may save the world!

ABC News: Feisty dogs wanted for border security

People struggling to cope with a hyperactive dog are being urged to think about giving up their pet for the sake of the country.

Sydney dog training centre Hanrob has launched a national recruitment drive to find animals fit to undertake security work in Australia and overseas.

Hanrob managing director Andrew Biggs says the centre is particularly interested in young beagles and labradors, aged between 10 months and three years, who like to rip up backyards, jump fences and love food.

Mr Biggs says the program is ideal for families who can no longer cope with their dog's high energy and destructive behaviour.

The dogs will undergo an intensive three-month training program that includes learning how to detect illegal materials.

Once completed, five dogs will head to Hong Kong and two to Japan to help strengthen efforts against diseases like bird flu.

The rest of the dogs will find employment in Australia.

Doing doggy paddle to protect our borders from drug smugglers, illegal refugees and terrorists. (Hope they get floaties.)


UPDATE 12 Oct: Just saw this news item. It may be a good example of why they're looking to use dogs... and not cats.

Oh most awesum joy!

...

[WARNING: DISTURBING IMAGES FOLLOW]

Seeing this headline a moment ago made me so happy:


Enough Rope: Denton makes Kyle see red

"It's been months in the making and is still two weeks away from going to air, but chat show champion Andrew Denton and shock jock Kyle Sandilands finally faced off in the Enough Rope hot seat on Monday - and fireworks flew."



Here's some of the article:

Following the meticulous interview technique that has made the veteran journalist king of the craft, Denton reportedly left an angry Sandilands "stuck for words" as he probed the FM host about the importance of taking responsibility for his actions.

Fuelling the fire, Denton also played a clip from the 2007 Logie Awards, where comedian Dave Hughes called Sandilands "a massive dickhead".

Denton then asked his guest what he thought of Hughes - to which Sandilands retorted: "I hate him - the next time I see him I'm going to punch him in the throat."

Er, tell me if I'm wrong, but can't that possibly kill someone?

ABC insiders confirmed that Sandilands left the studios in a hurry as soon as filming had finished - which his publicist yesterday attributed to him having to board a plane to travel interstate.

"Denton always gets controversial but Kyle definitely wasn't upset or uncomfortable with the interview - he thought it was great," she said.

Oh, oh!

Ahahaha...

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa!

*holds sides as laughing becomes painful*

Hoo hoo.

Hee.

Heh...

Oh.

His poor, poor publicist.


I mean, did anyone else see his visit on Big Brother? What the woman must have to put up with! Things get the teeniest big tough for this guy or he can't have everything his way and he dummy spits.
As my grandfather would have said, 'He's weak as piss and twice as salty'.

Mark your calendars!!!!! ABC on September 3.

I can't wait!

...

Check Out My Very Own Snow Dome!!!

-- I HEART The Man at the Pub --

Look!!! Viv... Perth skyline... and even my requested silver glitter!!!


Is The Man not The Man?


Is he not just so much awesomeness!?



*cuddles snow dome*



*shakes gently*



*giggles with glee*

____________________________________

*trumpets*

The EB Snow Dome has been Proudly Presented to the 1000th visitor
Dune Princess.

She has received the award with much delight and has graciously presented it upon her blogge with much pride and oh most awesum joy.
A very deserving recipient.

*applause*

_____________________________

...

I'm the blogger to see for Hot Gay Dwarfs, baby!

Ooh, have finally had a peep at my stats and I see I'm at 996 visitors!

[Hey, I've only been on here since May; that anyone comes here is a marvel to me (you wonderful souls you!).]

I will have to persuade The Man at the Pub to make me a commemorative plate (he's good at that stuff).


Actually. No... I think I'd prefer a commemorative snow dome, perhaps with blooms or petals instead of snowflakes. Well maybe some silver glitter too - you know, coz I wants it ta be classy.

***If you suspect you are the 1000th visitor, send your snow dome request to
The Man at the Pub (I'm sure he'll be thrilled).***

Anyway - re stats - having a gander at referrals was interesting.

When I've checked before the search queries have been pretty dull. A lot of people come here looking for Ian McEwan (re my 'burn this book before you read it' book review). Probably some studious school students or something. Poor things. I don't think I'll have helped them much.


I also would guess I have considerably failed the lost souls who came here hoping to find:

"Hot gay dwarfs"


"Bosom betties" (?)


Info regarding: "ejac under water"


"Dwayne Johnson tight pants"


"bitch free fuck"

They all come with colourful mental imagery don't they?



Now, that last one... This person is wanting to find a bitch to fuck for free...? How much of a bitch can she be if she's handing roots out to random internet perves for free?!

Or, perhaps he is just a gentle soul trying to find a 'fuck' that is free of nasty, cruel ladies? The poor love has made 'sweet-sweet-candy' to too many heartless wenches and is just looking for a lovely lass to cuddle up to.

Yes. That sounds nice. I'll go with that. La la la la la....





Before I go, I'll bring your attention to the fact that I've bowed to public pressure and returned to looking like Vivien Leigh. I'm really very lovely now.

*preen preen*

Again I say, who could compete with this:













Although, this is my fav pick of her:











Feel free to think up some apt LOL Kitteh speak.



BTW. Have I told you how nice *ahem* I was to cats as a babe? No? Will add it to another post then.





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P.S. Is another NEW POST BELOW. I hope you will read it and follow the links (look, really, how often do I ask this of you? NEVER. No. So it must be important. Yes. I'll be clear: this is doing no one a favour - except yourself... IMHO at least).

Paris: loses freedom, loses cute, loses agent, finds God

"God has given me this new chance," she said. "God has released me."

Well, that's something I suppose.



But now she has to find a new Talent Agency.

Doesn't she first need a talent?



.

Survival of the beer guts

This is why I love Australia:

Emergency crews restocking flood affected properties in the Hunter Valley have made a special beer delivery to an isolated pub ahead of tonight's rugby league State of Origin game.

Floodwaters are receding but hundreds of people are still isolated around the township of Hinton.

SES Spokesman Phil Campbell says they are being re-supplied, and today there was a special beer run.

"When we had some room in the boat we could take a few kegs of beer across to the Hinton pub, because of course State of Origin is on tonight, and it's important that we let communities function as normally as possible."

In case you are not familiar with Australian customs, let me explain: in Australia ‘normal’ is frequently synonymous with ‘intoxicated’.

"Too right. Mate, we’ve got our priorities straight. Bloody straight!! …Well, not ‘straight’ exactly… Ah, ya mongrels, strewth, crikey! Youse know what I mean! Oy, your round Johnno!"