Sorting my male

Looking through my mail today I found one envelope which had my address but no name on it.

Oh, what are they trying to sell me now, I thought.


I opened it - expecting some disappointment like cheap printer ink cartridges, some new cleaning product or teddy bear address labels - and what did I see but this!
























Woo hoo! I thought. That's more like it! Just what I've been looking for!!


You can imagine how disappointed I was to turn this hunk of man over and read an ad for a new fitness centre in the area.


Shame.


Just when I thought he might be on sale....

...

Just wondering...

1. Is it normal to have vodka and ice cream for dinner?

2. Is it common to feel the urge to puke when those dreary slow-motion ads for Idol come on the telly? Ie. effect is esp. bad when slow pan is of a dazed Marcia Hines and *urk* hollow-headed Kyle *imph gak*. (I mean really, is there anything behind those vacant eyes of his? He seems to be rather low on the ladder of evolution. Methinks this may be his soul's first incarnation.)

3. Is it acceptable to collect your mail but not get around to opening it for several days?

4. Is it usual to wish we could all go about our daily business wearing a different wig - hopefully colourful or flamboyant - each day if we so wanted without people creating a fuss about it? Or burst into song as we walk down the street if we so choose? Or suddenly dance with a stranger as one waits for the train?

5. Is it normal, when waiting in a long and quiet line in the bank, to have the overwhelming desire to loudly pronounce, 'WELL!!! We're a quiet lot then aren't we??! Isn't this DULL??!! Anyone want to start a sing-a-long while we're waiting??! Shall I begin..?'

6. Is it normal to find this amusing...





















Or is it just me?




Just wondering is all...


...

Who says the Germans have no sense of humour?

Has anyone noticed that news coming out of Germany has been a bit strange lately?


Obviously a very amusing place in which to reside... I know these tickled my fancy - during a rather torpid week for my fancy - so I'm feeling slightly grateful to the Germans (also because I like saying 'scheisse!' - an expletive likely to have been used by the farmer, the thief, and the bank manger... see below).

Pregnant cow runs riot across city

Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:34AM EDT

BERLIN (Reuters) - A pregnant cow being chased by police and fire fighters caused 25,000 euros ($33,900) of damage on a three-hour rampage through the German city of Hanover.

Uschi escaped from a farm late Monday and became increasingly violent as she encountered shocked drivers and pedestrians in the city.

Pursued by the farmer, television camera crews and 30 police and fire fighters, the Charolais cow lashed out at cars, benches, garden fences and whatever else got in her way during the 5-km chase, authorities said.

After more than three hours on the loose, Uschi was brought down by tranquilizer darts, without harming her unborn calf, fire services spokesman Martin Argendorf said Tuesday.

"She probably won't remember any of it when she wakes up again. But the farmer will, because he's going to have to pay damages of about 25,000 euros," he said.

Thief betrays himself to get free beer

Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:32PM EDT

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German phone thief led police right to his front door when they called the stolen mobile to say he had won some free beer and he willingly gave his address.

"An officer called and said, 'You've won a crate of beer'," said a spokesman for police in the eastern town of Neustrelitz Friday.

"Then he asked where he lived so he could drop the beer off, and the guy told him. I think the man was drunk."

Drunk deposits horse in bank for night

Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:24AM EDT

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man called on his bank for an unusual service when he was too tired and drunk to go home -- he bedded down there for the night with his horse.

The man, identified as Wolfgang H. by German media, went to sleep next to cash machines in the local branch of the Mittelbrandenburgische Sparkasse in Wiesenburg southwest of Berlin after unsaddling his horse Sammy and closing the door.

A spokeswoman for the bank said that aside from an undesirable deposit made by his horse inside the building, the 40-year-old account holder had not breached any house rules.

"The horse was otherwise very well behaved and kept a good watch on his master," she said Wednesday. "Perhaps we should have a supply of oats and water on the premises in future."

Another customer discovered the horse and rider as he slept and informed police, who asked the man to leave.

A police spokesman said that since the horse's droppings had been removed, the matter was now closed.