Oops. It appears I accidentally gave you lot the wrong message the other day. My new pic is not some artistic creation of mine. Sorry! Just a photo of me, made to appear comic-like (cause I really prefer being a drawing thank you) by the click of my camera's software 'Cartoon' button. I apologise if I gave anyone the impression that I actually have some artistic talent or any creative skills whatsoever (hey, I clicked on them buttons real fancy like! it's all in the wrist you know.).
Pic of me + Scribbly lines all over = Much better. [EDIT 9Aug: 1.5 photos removed - Told ya!]
PS - I prefer Vivien too (really, who could compete?!). She will return!!!!
PPS - Just had a lovely laugh watching Howard on 7.30 Report again. (Kerry was cackling too.) Oh our PM's an absolute hoot lately: "No, no no... But... but... But Kerry!!" Old and 'rattled'??! Naahh!!!
UPDATE: 7.30 REPORT TRANSCRIPT NOW AVAILABLE - just a snippet:
[Only the comments in CAPS are mine, they do the rest themselves.]
KERRY O'BRIEN: Now to your own problems, Mr Howard? I know that you've tried to reject the leaked findings of your own pollsters this week that you're regarded as dishonest, but if that's how people see you then that's a real problem for you, isn't it?
JOHN HOWARD: Well Kerry, I won't be a commentator [commenter?] on that. I will deal directly with the issue. I'm not dishonest. [blah blah WMDs etc]
KERRY O'BRIEN: Have you asked your pollsters to find out why the public thinks you're dishonest?
JOHN HOWARD: No, but Kerry, I will deal with the facts I will deal with the allegation. I am entitled... I AM ENTITLED!!!!
KERRY O'BRIEN: It's not so much an allegation it's what your pollsters are telling you about the public perception.
JOHN HOWARD: Well, it's used in the question as an allegation. DON'T YOU GET TRICKY WITH ME YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER! I'M ONTO YOU... I'm asked to say what do I think of the allegation that I'm dishonest? Well my reply to that is to say I'm not dishonest and I've grabbed hold of one of the examples of where I'm alleged to be dishonest. I mean, you will acknowledge that I have a right to defend myself. I HAVE A RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF!!!
KERRY O'BRIEN: But of course.
JOHN HOWARD: In what I regard as a false claim and I think I owe it to the Government supporters who watch your program, BOTH OF THEM, and I owe it to other people who are taking an objective interest in political debate in this country, to deal with those sorts of allegations. I OWE IT TO THE PEOPLE!!!!
KERRY O'BRIEN: But I suppose what I'm asking you is not so much an allegation but a finding by your pollsters that there is a strong perception out there amongst voters who are deserting your party that they think you're dishonest and I was asking you whether you've asked your pollsters to try and pin down the reasons why they think you're dishonest?
JOHN HOWARD: I certainly don't intend to go into what I have and what I haven't asked my pollsters YOUNG MAN. But I would have thought the best way to deal with that question is to address the substance of the alleged perception and that is what I've done. NOT THAT I'M GOING INTO WHAT THAT PERCEPTION ACTUALLY IS CAUSE I WON'T COMMENT ON IT...
KERRY O'BRIEN: You raised one element of what you think might...
JOHN HOWARD: Well, let me go into the other quoted examples. Children overboard [blah blah, bloody advisers *shakes fist*]
KERRY O'BRIEN: Is this what your pollsters are telling you that those are the kinds of reasons why people don't believe you?
JOHN HOWARD: No, I read them all the time in the newspapers.
KERRY O'BRIEN: No, no, I'm talking about what your pollsters have told you.
JOHN HOWARD: No, I'm saying I'm not going into what my pollsters have told me.
KERRY O'BRIEN: Of course if that perception of dishonesty is there, then the more desperate you appear to get with your promises or your interventions, the more that perception of dishonesty is going to haunt you, isn't it?
JOHN HOWARD: Kerry, you say my interventions are desperate but which ones do you...
KERRY O'BRIEN: No, no, I'm saying that the more desperate you appear to get...
JOHN HOWARD: With my interventions?
KERRY O'BRIEN: With your promises and your interventions, yes.
JOHN HOWARD: Can you give me some of the examples that are desperate?
KERRY O'BRIEN: Well, let's take the case of the hospital and I'm talk about perceptions, Mr Howard. Let's take the case of the hospital at Devonport. You said that decision had nothing to do with holding on to a marginal seat.
JOHN HOWARD: No, I didn't say that.
KERRY O'BRIEN: You haven't said that?
JOHN HOWARD: No, no, YOU NINNY, I was asked about isn't it coincidence in a marginal seat. My reply to that is well if it's a good policy, if it also has the impact of BUYING ME VOTES AND being popular what's wrong with that?
*laughter in background*
KERRY O'BRIEN: Well you've now got one of your own Tasmanian Liberal senators, Stephen Parry, telling journalists today that he thinks the hospital is a disaster and it should be closed.
JOHN HOWARD: Well, he's given me some slightly different version than that.
KERRY O'BRIEN: And what's that?
JOHN HOWARD: Well, I'm not going to go into that as a discussion between us. But, can I tell you the Government's policy is to go full steam ahead with the intervention.
KERRY O'BRIEN: Did he tell you he supports your intervention?
JOHN HOWARD: Can I say... well he's put out a statement... *SIGHS* Can I say that the Health Minister, Mr Abbott, went to Tasmania today and had a meeting with the Tasmanian Health Minister and to say the least the Tasmanian Government is being extremely uncooperative, which I think is very poor. *TSK* I would have thought the Tasmanian Government would have welcomed with open arms the fact that we are willing to USE THEM TO BUY VOTES, inject up to another $45 million to $50 million a year into the health system in northern Tasmania and for the Tasmanian Health Minister to say in effect well, we're going to spite the Federal Government because we don't like the idea of the Federal Government BUYING VOTES being involved, shows an arrogant disregard for the interests of MY PARTY the people in Devonport and the people of northern Tasmania.
KERRY O'BRIEN: Mr Howard, the Tasmanian Government, as you well know, is acting on two independent reports in implementing its health decisions and its health profile for Tasmania. There's a lot of sentiment in Burnie next door about the rights an wrongs of your intervening in Devonport, aren't there?
JOHN HOWARD: But Kerry, let's just look at the objective facts, AS THIS IS MUCH MORE CONVENIENT THAN ANALYSING THE BIGGER PICTURE OR MY TRUE INTENTIONS, I mean we are willing to inject $45 million to $50 million into keeping that hospital at full bore as far as public hospital facilities are concerned and instead of sitting down and cooperating with us, the Tasmanian Government so far, and I hope it changes its attitude. There has been agreement for the health officials of the Commonwealth and the State to meet not later than Thursday of this week. They are, you know, playing denial politics, they're playing spite politics. Well, I just ask them to think of the [VOTERS] people, the tens of thousands of [VOTERS and] people who will benefit from this decision [ME AND MY PARTY]. That's the point I'm making.
KERRY: *rolls around on the floor laughing holding his sides in pain as tears roll down his cheeks*
HOWARD: *right eye starts to twitch*
Honestly, should we vote him back in just for entertainment value?