Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Tennis in the round (and round)

Well, I've profoundly pondered the problematic distractions of cricket,
so now I'll move on to rambling upon the ramifications of tennis.


Sharipova played some other squealer the other day. 'Aiii!!!' 'Ahhh!!!' Anyone nearby would've thought I had some hot one-on-one lady action porn on the telly (damn exciting porn at that!).

Needless to say, it could not be watched (not with the sound on at least).


The close up thing with Venus Williams' shorts had me thinking, and then I came to a cul-de-sac and stopped (after doing a few squealy doughnuts of course).

Commentator said that's the kind of thing he likes to see. I'm sure he was telling the truth. Although it was rather unnecessary.

More unnecessary was the extra-tight close up. If that hadn't have happened then the male watching would not have had to comment. (Another voice may add that at least he didn't say 'Jay-SUS she's FAT! Eeee-YOW momma!!'.)

So at this stage I believe the direction is to blame. Then I think, well, Venus wore (and designed) those extra-tight, extra-short shorts; she's showing off her bum and letting it all hang out so it gets attention. So maybe it's her fault. But after doing a few more burn-outs around the dead end I decided that it was the close-up that was most wrong. Say a player had a healthy cleavage gleaming in the sunlight? A close-up would be very wrong there.

So I've put booty and boobs on a par and slapped the director whilst giving commentator a darn evil glance, whilst also noting to myself that I would not choose to play tennis in such shorts... did you see how often she had to pull them out of her woo-hoo? Very uncomfortable.


The other thing with the tennis that bugs me is how often the female players are referred to - esp by male commentators - as 'girls'. Worse is the "good girl!" comment after a fine shot has been played. Is like a pat on the head! I felt a bit better when on one occasion I heard a "good boy!" [this was in reference to a male player I will add.... I have had enough of derogatory comments about Amelie - honestly, am I the only person that likes her? And no I don't mean in THAT way!! Not that there's anything wro.... Oh, forget it....]

So, is it wrong to call them girls? Or just wrong to do it more often than they call the men boys? And how much does intention matter? I know I refer to women as girls a lot. And I will say 'good girl!' re these tennis players (in my head or under my breath at least) and similar. But I'm just encouraging them as I would myself.
BUT, does this intention matter? Or, regardless of intention or sex, ought we to remove 'girl' from the vernacular when referring to women? BUT... the use of 'woman' and 'female' in similar circumstances sounds so formal...

It all gets me in knots and more cul-de-sacs and more doughnuts... round and round and round.

Anyone else worry about these sorts of things?

And anyone else concerned that Marat Safin hasn't lasted? I felt wrong to want him to win his last match just so I could watch him more.
So, now I'm being sexist!
I mean, I appreciate his skill with a racket, honest! There's just other things I appreciate too...
And I'll admit to wishing he'd change his shirt between sets... slowly...
Oh! I'm a BAD GIRL!! BAD GIRL! Oh shit, I mean a BAD FEMALE!


[Ms Bloom as female commentator: Woo! He's taking his shirt off! Good boy! That's what I like to see! Yee-haa! Can we get a slo-mo close-up of that please? Hell-o. Come to momma...!!!]

round & round & round...