Monday, 30 July 2007

Low on the Girly

You Are 28% Girly

You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit.
Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.

I must say I was well and truly aware of my low-ranking girly status before this quiz. I do not traipse about in frou frou, pink and frilly girly attire, read Jackie Collins or purchase gossip magazines.
Yes, 'free spirit' and doing things my way sounds pretty right. BUT...

I AM NOT 'a pretty hardcore tomboy.'

Pretty: yes. *flutters eyelashes*

Hardcore Tomboy: no, no, no...


...Do I protest too much?

Methinks perhaps I need to think about this.

Am I really a tomboy and just in denial? Let's examine the evidence - and comments from men or women trying to hit on me do not count (of course, I likely AM a goddess, but I shan't include that as evidence until it comes from a more reliable source. ie. will update you next week following my lunch date with Zeus).

Firstly, I don't enjoy shopping (a typical girly pastime). I usually only hit the shops when buying presents or when I've reached the stage where I'm near desperate for some items (eg. jacket, knickers, sweater, tiara). When it comes to needing such things I will do it all in one fell swoop so I don't have to return any time soon ...cause it's a pain in the arse!!

I also don't partake of a girly gossip, follow what's happening with celebrities or read many women's mag.s. I don't have conversations like, 'Ohmigod! Can you belieeeve what she's wearing!?' or 'Oh, she's such a bitch. She said... So I said... And then she said... Can you believe it?! What a moll! So I said...' etc. The only time I'm likely to come close to saying the former is when I see young lasses in skimpy attire waiting outside a club on a cold winter's night. Yes, how I look is fairly important to me (see, that's not tomboy) but not so that I'll freeze my arse off for it. I do occasionally suffer discomfort for appearance's sake in the wearing of heels, but these are not the kind of heels that make one walk like Posh. They may be high sometimes but it's important not to have them so spindly you can't run in them.

Hey. Surely my ability to run in heels makes me less tomboyish!

Or maybe not... Heels: girly. Running: tomboy.

Well, I don't leave the house without makeup, especially lipstick which I can apply sans mirror. There's some girly points. Plus I colour my hair, occasionally wear frocks and I lacquer my nails (although, I keep them short and think long nails are ridiculous).

Most importantly in defense of my lack of tomboyishness is that I am most often classified as ladylike. In addition, many have described me as 'regal' (must be the tiara) or similarly have compared me with Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn. Surely this means I'm actually rather feminine (or dead) - well hardly tomboyish at least.

Although, if this makes me appear too feminine and like some frigid society princess, I will add that I can cuss and swear with the best of them. Mind you, I probably don't swear as often as most - in public at least, at home may be a different matter: I admit to some influence from erstwhile beaus who have had 'potty mouths' (fuck that expression bloody shits the hell outta me. I mean Jesus fucking Christ, only silly cunts say fucktard things like that... wankers).

Anyway, when I do swear it tends to shock people, which makes me realise how very refined they must think I am. *adjusts tiara*

I can see some tomboy qualities in my childhood self if I think about it. I mean, I didn't play with dolls at all, didn't see the point. (Although, once or twice I played with a doll that could crawl... just to race her.) Plus, I never dreamed of weddings or babies. Never played families (was more into nurses and doctors, and kiss chasey... now why did that stop after Grade Two?! Is it too late to bring it back?). I did play with Barbie a lot though. Baby dolls I didn't know what to do with, but with Barbie I did. Man, she was a slut.

Tomboyishly, I also played with toy cars and made up race tracks for them. And the friend I mostly played Barbies with (in our games bosom-laden Barbie was always scantily clad and often sexually assaulted by one Ken, and usually rescued by another Ken; one or both Ken's would get lucky with her at some stage but would just as often get their ass kicked by Babs too, whether they'd rescued her or not. Babs never settled down, married or had babies in any of my games). Pre-parentheses I was saying, this friend and I would often climb trees, ride our bikes down stairs and jump off a roof or two. We would also play Charlie's Angels. This involved a lot of running, gun pointing, hair flicking, and hiding and spying on people - little did innocent passers-by realise they were evil criminals in our game... or that they'd just been shot.

This friend was more of a tomboy than me in many ways (that roof thing was her idea) but she was the one who had and loved a Cabbage Patch doll, not me. I thought they were silly.

So maybe I am a bit of a tomboy. I hated wearing frilly dresses as a kid... but... I adored anything off the shoulder. I hated dolls, but I loved my stuffed animals; grew quite attached to them and gave them plenty of cuddles. And yes my friend and I would climb trees... but once, when sitting in a tree covered in pink blossoms, we suddenly realised they were covered with hundreds of bees (hey, what's that noise..?) we screamed shrilly and girly-ran for our lives.

[UPDATE 1st AUG: Please don't think I actually give a shit whether I am girly or not. This is just an excuse for a lighthearted and hopefully amusing post. I honestly DO have bigger things to worry about. But, this is much more fun!]