Thursday, 21 May 2009

Weather or not

You may have noticed, and I'd like to delude myself that you have, that I've been away. Well I'm back now and I've developed a theory about myself and my special talents... (or talent).

I spent some time in southern Victoria over Christmas and the weather was colder than a Perth winter. I returned to WA to see Vic was suffering temperatures in the 40s. In February I flew back to stay in Vic for a couple of months and it had wonderfully cosy weather! The poor place has been in a terrible drought for years but whilst I was there it persisted in being rainy and grey and was lovely weather for being inside with a hot cup of tea and a good book. Perth meanwhile suffered less rain than ever... until I returned the other day. Now it's been raining (is pissing down as I type this) and today it will rain so much there's to be 'localised flooding'. Should be quite a storm actually as they've predicted winds up to 125km (I have stoically responded to the repeated weather warnings today by bringing in my wind chime).

So, my theory is that my talent lies in enhancing an area's rainfall and general storminess/cosiness. I am feeling quite chuffed about this actually and shall enjoy my heightened status above the rest of the less weather-influential hoi polloi... until either:

a) today's storm destroys half of Perth with thousands left homeless/roofless/fenceless (defenceless! the state then invaded by washed up hordes of refugees), or,

b) the Chinese government gives up that cloud seeding stuff over their arid agricultural areas and in turn kidnap me in order to persuasively host me around the place as needs arise.

Until then I shall daydream about all the monetary gains to be, um, gained by, uh, me. Wonderful, weathery me.