“It's not all about what Pauline Hanson wants, it's about me representing the people of this electorate.”
Said by Pauline Hanson.... but it could have been said by Warwick Capper.
So, in the battle for the seat of Beaudesert in the upcoming Queensland elections will be Pauline Hanson & Warwick Capper!
Just putting them both in the same sentence feels like overwhelming hyperbole. It just shouldn't be done!!!!
In trying to understand this I've considered that one of them talked the other into going for the same seat in order to make them look smarter by comparison...
This logic faltered immediately as I couldn't decide which one...
Anyway, Mr Capper, who is 'being advised by another former footballer, Mark "Jacko" Jackson,' explains his interest in being a politician (you know, a person working for the good of the people)...
"I've done everything else," Capper said.
"I've been a meter maid, porn star, running for mayor last year, footy star, recording star."
So, obvious really. Why did we not see it coming?
In further news, he's said:
he would swap his BMW for a Hummer if he won the election.
Asked what he knew about the Beaudesert area, he said: "I went there once - a fair few Aborigines and very multicultural out there.
"But nice place. I used to have a bit of land out there at Canungra."
I believe he's standing for the Show Some Skin Party.
(By the way, for those of you that are interested, he is "Now Available for Hens & Bucks Nights & Corporate Functions". Oh, and his 'home porn movie' is 'now on sale everywhere'. Does that sound like a threat??)
Let us hope the voters of Beaudesert (a town I have visited, I recall it having a few slaughterhouses... perhaps this is the cause of its obviously tarnished karma) have some better choices of candidate. Let's see:
Adding further spice to the mix is the LNP's choice to replace [retiring] Mr Lingard, 30-year-old Aidan McLindon.
In 2005, Mr McLindon was fined $250 on a public nuisance charge after barging on to the set of that year's final episode of Big Brother just as Gretel Killeen tried to announce the winner.
He also sparked a CMC inquiry at one point after he claimed on stage with his band Kill TV that Logan City Council was corrupt.
Yes. Indeed. It just gets better! Joy.
I'm guessing luck might head the way of the Labor candidate: 'local man Brett McCreadie, who is [a] former soldier and has served as the secretary of the Jimboomba sub-branch of the RSL.' Do you think?
UPDATE: It turns out Capper and Hanson have the same publicist. Am I surprised?
Although, was a little surprised to hear Pauline compare herself to Abraham Lincoln: He also stood for parliament a number of times to stand up for what he believed in, and he was a 'professional candidate'. Heh! Wasn't he, eh!? Wasn't he?!! Yeah. So nyah.)
UPDATE #2, 3rd March:
It isn't so!
The strange electoral race in the Queensland seat of Beaudesert has taken another twist, with former Australian rules footballer Warwick Capper failing to nominate by today's deadline.
Mr Capper yesterday claimed he was planning to run but his name does not appear on the Electoral Commission's list of candidates.