Monday, 16 March 2009

And speaking of romance… (of WHAT?)

Remember when I had a crush on a guy and I was excited as I never get crushes? Well just thought I’d update you to the sad fact that I had led myself far astray from my own reality.
I think it was actually that thing of wanting what (who) you can’t have and making someone out to be something they ain’t. (Really ain't!)
Just before I was due to see him a while back my romantic feelings ended. Which was a relief (explained below). And when I saw him I was completely unmoved; no attraction - physically, mentally - at all. Now I feel more inclined to view him as my slightly irritating (and sometimes amusing, in a rolling-of-the-eyes-fashion) younger brother. And I wonder who that guy was that I thought up and what a strange thing us humans can do in creating imaginary friends!

Anyway, my more pressing interest in men at the moment is a reinvigorated (although it was still pretty vigour without this recent encouragement) passion to not have any men intimately involved in my daily life.

An ex who’s now a friend has been staying with me and gosh golly and gee whiz can it be painful.

Ugh. Men. Why are you all such grots? What is it that makes you so impartial to leaving scattered about the place such things as food, dirty dishes, wet towels, dirty clothes and wee spots (that missed, and I‘m buggered if I‘ll ever understand how grown men - very much grown - can still fail at this simple and everyday task)? Suddenly I’m in the role of a depressing retro and haggard housewife!

And then such men tend to get grumpier than a lass with PMS and so make themselves feel better by moaning and criticizing all and sundry for a day or two. Then one is told this hirsute male is a big boy and can take care of himself (although, apparently not so for your sweet abode) and you should stop mothering. This is shortly followed by a request to please open his bedroom window, get up and cook his eggs, be available to point out he’s mistakenly put the ice tray in the fridge not the freezer, and by the great accomplishment of amassing a disturbingly vast array of dirty and drippy dishes, loads of washing, etc, etc, to be dealt with by… (it appears) ‘mother’.

So, I can say I am not only relieved not to have any crushes (the last one also being a relief as a result of its illusory and therefore transitory status due to the fact that he was a friend of an ex -- not a comfortable proposition nor potential position) but I am also relieved to be sans boyfriends and even mere male housemates!
If I ever have an interest in having a relationship again I may have to turn gay. And, as having someone around all the time drives me nuts and I really like to have time on my own, it may be a good idea to have two girlfriends as they can just entertain each other occasionally and give me a break. (This may be a stimulating concept for some of you lads to imagine, but for me I’m just trying to be practical.)

Romance is overrated.