Thursday, 23 July 2009

You'll look pretty when we TELL YOU to look pretty!!!!

Magda turns up for her first commercial for Jenny Craig.

Producer: Oh my god, Magda. Don't you look lovely darling! Um, I see you're wearing a bit of makeup dear. And, er, your hair... Yes, yes, lovely, lovely. But Magda darling, didn't my PA tell you not to brush your hair today? No? Marcel! Marcel!!!! Get over here! Look! Look at Magda! This is no good! Look, put her in the outfit, see if it looks hideous enough. *whispers* Make sure she looks fat... and abuse her a bit. Make her look miserable. And give her face a good scrub will you. I want not an inch of makeup on her! Use the scrub cleanser... No... use the cleaner's gumption paste. But first Marcel, drag her through that hedge over there. No! No, Marcel!!! Backwards! Backwards! Uh. People these days...

Magda turns up for her latest commercial.

Producer: Oh my god, Magda. Don't you look lovely darling! You're wearing just a bit of make up dear and, er, your hair... You know you really ought to have at least washed it. No, no! No buts! Oh, look, I made a little joke! *titters* Look, it doesn't matter. You'll be in hair and makeup shortly. Did you bring something to eat dear? Oh. *laughs* Yes, silly me. It's just that you'll be in there a little while so I just thought...

12 hours, a girdle and fancy frock later:

Producer: Lovely Magda!!! I can't even recognise you, which is perfect! Now remember, you're allowed to be happy this time and you know what that means. Yes, swing the hair. Just swing everything really... but not too much. That's good. Good. Don't you look beautiful? Well, lucky we weighed you before the makeup, eh? *titters* Now. Where's this bloody cameraman? Hey! Make sure you use the good lens for this one or it'll be your ass on the line instead of Magda's! Oh, *hee hee* I made another joke! ...


Go here to see what I mean (darn flash program; can't copy pictures).

PS - Onya Magda! I'd never have a go at you! Just ad agencies. Why can't a woman look her best whenever?!!!!!!