A day at the beach!

I thought it was pretty cool having a horse beach in Perth.





















But of course, I didn't realise how many other animals are being excluded! I mean, we have lots of dog beaches in Perth as well, but really we're not going far enough.

Think of all the animals whose beach frolicking needs are being ignored! I mean, many other people would surely like to exercise their pets at the beach!


Lots of people now have pet rabbits...


























Their needs should be met too!




(Although, killer rabbits should of course be responsibly restrained.)




And, of course, cats miss out.






























It really is disgraceful.




One might like to walk one's pet monkey...





























And where are they going to go?!





Even cows enjoy a break away from their everyday routine.






















(from Skinnyde)




Don't forget your sunscreen!






























Lots of people have pet pigs these days.





















Look how happy he is! Surely the pigs of Perth are really not having their needs met.























We're really backwards in Perth. Just so old fashioned! Especially when you think how it could be...











































































(pic by Michael Poliza)



*sigh* Something really ought to be done.

Q & A mosaic

.

(click for bigger image)

Have been immersing myself in a lazy Sunday today. The only active thing I've done is hack at the bougainvillea, and the intertwined and rampant passionfruit vine which is eternally attempting to choke it. I won btw. My aim was also to warm myself up, which I achieved nicely... for a while. Very sunny lately at least.

So, being a lazy day, I thought it was an opportune moment to have a go at a flickr-mosaic meme that's been going around the blogosphere.

It goes like this:

• Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
• Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
• Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

And the questions are these:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food right now?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. What is your favourite drink?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What is your favourite dessert?

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. What is one word that describes you?

12. What is your flickr name?

They're answered in rows, left to right.

I'm quite happy with how it turned out actually - it will do well as my new desktop image (although it could be quite dangerous as it will surely encourage me to up my indulgence in sweet treats - how good does that mud pie look!!!).


Update: Thanks to kiki's encouragement, I shall annoy, I mean, tag people to do the meme. I hereby tag kiki, kath, mai, ariel and homo j. Enjoy or ignore as you wish!

Crisis!! C-c-cold!!!!

Brrr. It was 4.5 degrees overnight, our lowest yet in we-have-no-idea-what-real-cold-is, 'Mediterranean' Perth. And the next few nights will also be down to 4 degrees.

But we have a gas crisis! 30% of our gas supply gone due to that pesky explosion. So we are encouraged to save on power and gas usage as much as we can (even businesses are responding to this, that's how serious it is!). I've had the heater on for only a few minutes in the last couple of days, and this morning I was so cold I had to shower wearing my beanie!

Yes, this is very serious. The federal treasurer has even said the gas crisis will affect the economy.

It's so serious in fact that our state premier did the unprecedented thing of making an announcement on tv and radio last night.

Alan Carpenter said:

"Minimise use of heaters. Turn off lights when you're not using them, and reduce shower times. Just turning off appliances at the wall can save up to 10 per cent of household electricity use.

And you've heard that statistic of 10% before, yes? Well, as Matthew Parris discovered a couple of years ago, it's a great "example of how a dud fact can enter the national mind". He began with Gordon Brown's or someone-or-other's announcement that "up to 10% of the electricity supply" is being used up by appliances left on "standby". And then he - rather amusingly - tracked down the source of this widely believed statistic, searching through many studies and reports, only to find they were based on a 2000 report by Alan K Meier. Who said he'd only had 'inadequate' info to base this on.

Near the end of Meier’s report I spot this: “Estimates of standby power use and savings opportunities are based on just a few, scattered measurement studies . . . (they are) inadequate. More complete information is needed to answer these questions:
Meier is asking these questions! Everyone else is pointing to him as the man who answers them.

A darn good reason to query all stats you hear. Along with his other example:

At the start of the Iraq war, Jack Straw, then the Foreign Secretary, announced that Iraq was more than twice the size of France. Soon everyone was repeating this. Actually Iraq is smaller than France. But why fret? Journalists and politicians bring you the essential not the literal truth.

In my wee search I found it confirmed that 'exact figures on total losses to standby power are not available.' But that recent estimates suggest in 'the United States, 5% of electricity usage is due to standby power. In Europe, the numbers run slightly higher: France at 7% and Germany and the Netherlands at 10% each. Australia comes in at 11%, Japan at 12%.'

As Parris says:

The truth is plain. Nobody has the least idea. All we do know amounts simply to this: that some small energy savings are available from switching some appliances right off.

So the 'essential truth is that you must remember to unplug your mobile phone charger*... Iraq is awfully big' ...and it's best to shower wearing a beanie.




*I even unplugged my home phone. It's been very restful...

(Beautiful frost photo by Sarah Klockars-Clauser)

What the bloody hell are you thinking?

I must say I love this idea of Paul Keating being on a shortlist for the new G'day UK tourism campaign. Especially as the target audience is the same one that found our last campaign offensive due to the mild expletive of 'bloody hell'.


Of course Keating would never say anything like 'Where the bloody hell are you?'



I think it would be more like:


G'day scumbags.* Where the bloody hell are you, you mangy maggots? I mean, if you haven't got the f**king ticker to come to Australia, you donkeys, then you're all tip and no iceburg!
And don't you bloody tell me to mind my language, you stupid intellectual hobos with your inane stupidities. You're absolute mugs, you know that?
What really amuses me and almost makes me spew is that a bunch of dimwitted, dullards; mangy maggot, foul-mouthed grubs such as you gutless clowns would resort to absolute gutter tactics such as getting me in a bikini. You useless desperadoes are an absolute joke.


(And this was just to the advertising execs in rehearsal.)


Fortunately Rudd believes: "It’s about as probable as having John Howard and Paul Keating team up for a dual number in the Eurovision song contest... And probably about as likely of taking the prize."


*Yes. I researched this. (every phrase is true. except the bikini...)

P.S. - Of course it could be worse. It could be Belinda Neal: 'Come to Australia, or your babies will be born demons. De-e-e-mons. Mwhahahahahaaaaaa!'

My imagined Clarke & Dawe interview of Rudd

(this is merely from my imagination - I hope they're not insulted!) a John Clarke & Bryan Dawe-type version of earlier post re Kev's visit to Japan:











Mr Rudd, thanks for your time. How are you enjoying Japan?

Oh, well, it's quite nice of course. Maybe not as nice as China, but quite nice.

And how did your meeting with the Prime Minister, Yasao Fukuda go?

Oh, pretty well Bryan, pretty well.

We all know that you're fluent in Mandarin Mr Rudd, but do you speak much Japanese?

Yes... a little...

What can you say in Japanese?

I know how to say, "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much."

Oh yes, and what else?

Well, that's it really.

Oh.

Yes. But I say it every chance I get Bryan. Oh, and Konnichiwa, I know that one.

Yes.

You mean 'hai' Bryan. See. Know that one too!

Hai. Yes. And your meeting went well?

Yes, I mean hai Bryan. I knew the poor guy's ratings were pretty low. You know, they're below 20 per cent, and everyone's giving him a hard time with a censure and all. So I thought I'd tell him a little bit about Brendan Nelson...

And how did that go?

That cheered him up no end Bryan!

Well that's good. So you got along well then? Even after all the tensions about your trip to China? And the whaling...?

Well, yes and no Bryan. I also said to him he can call me Kevin, you know, everyone calls me Kevin.

Yes, we know.

But then I thought I'd cheer the poor bloke up a bit further and say he can call me The Ruddster if he likes.

The Ruddster?

Yes, I mean, hai... You see, we have a little group where we like to call each other... well, you know. There's The Swanster and The Gillster - I sometimes like to call her The Gillmeister - and The Tannster...

I get the picture.

Yes, hai... So I told him he could be part of the group too!

The Fukster...?

Hai.

Oh dear...

Hai, I must say, it went a bit downhill from there Bryan.

I can imagine. So did you talk to him about the whaling?

Well yes Bryan. But, I was very diplomatic about it.

What did you say?

I said we'd better find a way to be diplomatic about it and once we find a way we'll do something about the whaling.

Diplomatically?

Yes. It's only polite Bryan.

And what did he say?

Well, he pointed out that our Defence Department killed 514 kangaroos recently. Our national emblem he said.

And what did you say?

I diplomatically pointed out to him that he was wrong Bryan!

Wrong...?

Yes. Hai! I told him that the kangaroo isn't our official emblem, not officially Bryan. And anyway, that's the Red kangaroo on our Coat of Arms and these were Grey kangaroos... Plus, I rather diplomatically explained to him that whales weren't swarming all over his old military bases and endangering grassland...!

Well no. They're whales.

Exactly Bryan. I think he got my point.

And what about your visit to China?

Oh, it was great Bryan!

No. I mean, how did you smooth things over there with Mr Fukuda?

Well. I told him I'd taken the same length of time, six months, that Howard did to visit. I told him seven Australian ministers have already visited Japan this year. I told him that I couldn't think of any other country, in fact, that had had such high-level ministerial visits! And I said, "How many Japanese government ministers have been able to visit Australia in the same time?" Hey? I don't think any.

So you handled that diplomatically too...

Of course Bryan. We don't want to upset them any further. I was going to add, "So nyahh!" But I think he got my point...

So apart from that, things went well?

Sort of Bryan. I mean. I did feel the need to bring up how some people in Victoria are none too happy about a Japanese company buying that wind farm thing in Tarwin Lower... And that didn't go down too well...

Oh.

You see, he thought it was Taiwan Lower. That he'd gotten one over on the Chinese!

Oh dear.

Hai. Indeed Bryan. He was very disappointed.

Hai... Were there any issues on which you did get along well?

Well, yes Bryan. We talked about the Toyota deal with the hybrid cars, and his plan to cut emissions and create some experimental carbon market thingamee. And we talked about my plan to save the planet with a Nuclear Non-Proliferations and Disarmament Commission, and I said I'd let him co-chair. You know the thing. The one to be headed by Biggles...

Yes, Biggles... Did you warn him about flying ashtrays?

Of course Bryan. Diplomatically...

And was he impressed with your ideas?

Oh, I think so Bryan. In fact. I gave him some advice, you know, to help him with his ratings and all. I told him...

To... deal with things diplomatically...?

Well, no...

To improve your education and health care systems? Get things right at home before you go out saving the world?

No Bryan...

I know! To do things in 'due season'?

No Bryan. But that's a good point. No. I told him that he ought to make a lot of spur of the moment announcements. You know. Get everyone's attention in some positive way. And the bigger the better!

But, only after he's thoroughly organised it and thought it through of course. You know, told the people involved what they'll be doing.

Hai... something like that Bryan. You know. A couple of hours' notice is always a good idea.
*laughs* You don't want people to think you're loopy or something! You know, for example, the hybrid car deal with Toyota. It was organised years ago that they'd be building these cars for us in Australia!

But, the head of Toyota did seem quite surprised about the $70 million dollars you offered. Tax payers' money...

Hai. They're not quite sure what to do with it actually...

So why did you offer it to them? Do you think you overdid it a bit?

No, no. Not at all Bryan! As I said to The Fuku... to Mr Fukuda. Big announcements. That's what you want. Then you'll be right mate!

I'm sure he was most appreciative. And where are you off to next Mr Rudd?

Jakarta. I'll be there this evening.

So, relations with Indonesia will need some of your diplomatic touch too?

I suppose so Bryan... But of course it's really about the big announcement I'll be making.

Oh, another one? What will it be about this time?

It's really a bit soon to be asking Bryan! I've got hours yet!




For the real (and superior!) thing, go here, or here.



Update 13/6: This is what they did last night.

Sticking to my theme...

ABC news reports:

Rudd dismisses Japan snub claims

At the National Press Club in Tokyo, Mr Rudd was asked why it had taken him more than six months to visit Japan, when he has already visited China, the US, the UK and Indonesia.

Mr Rudd replied, saying John Howard first visited Japan six months after taking office, and seven Australian ministers have already visited Japan this year.

''I can't point to any other country, frankly, which has had such high-level ministerial visits since Day One,'' he said.

"How many Japanese government ministers have been able to visit Australia in the same time? I don't think there are any." Mr Rudd said. Then added, "So nyahh!"

P.S. Regarding Rudd's conversation with PM Fukuda below... He's actually meeting with him tomorrow. I hope he's taken some pointers...!

Kevin goes to Japan!

Konnichiwa Prime Minister Fukuda!
*bows*
*says in Japanese* "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much".




Konnichiwa Mr Rudd san. Ogenki desu ka?
I did not know you spoke Japanese as well as Mandarin!






Uh... "My name is Kevin, I'm from Australia, thank you very much". ...Hai!


Please, have a seat.


Oh, thank you. Hai! You know, you can call me Kevin if you like... Or, 'the Ruddster'. Heh. Even though you're not one of the group... You know, like 'the Swanster' and 'the Gillster', or sometimes I call her 'the Gillmeister.' You can be 'the Fukster'! Uh... hai!


*some sake is poured*


Tell me, have you been well?


Well yes, hai, thank you. But I did have a dodgy dagwood dog or something the other day, I don't know. All I know is the consequences were graphic! Ha!


Ah. But better than a bad blowfish, yes?


Hai! Yes! Ha ha. Speaking of seafood. I wanted to say that this thing with killing whales is really just not on. You know, I just feel I have to tell you this.


Yes. But, Mr Rudd san. I noticed that your Department of Defence killed 514 kangaroos recently... your national emblem I believe.


Well, no... I mean, it's not officially our national emblem, and that's a Red Kangaroo on the Australian Coat of Arms, you know, these were Grey Kangaroos...


Ah.


Hai.



*pause*














*both sip some warm sake*










Mr Fukuda. I hope this won't stop you giving us lots of money for our exports...


And Mr Rudd san, I hope you will continue to provide us with large amounts of coal and iron ore.


And Mr Fukuda san, I hope you will make some hybrid cars for us.


Sono you desu ne. Looks like we (already) will be!


*clink sake cups*


Speaking of saving the planet, did you know I've just announced that Japan will aim to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 60 to 80 per cent by 2050 and we're going to launch an experimental carbon market?


Really. That sounds great! *sips sake*


Yes. I compared the grand scope of the effort to the Industrial Revolution, and then I said "I believe that we need to make an effort to create a low-carbon revolution so that our descendants 200 years from now will look back and be proud of us." Impressive, hai?


Hai. Hai. Did you hear I've just announced that Australia will set up a Nuclear Non-Proliferations and Disarmament Commission?


Indeed? *sips sake*


Oh, and I visited Hiroshima. I wrote, "Let the world resolve afresh from the ashes of this city - to work together for the common mission of peace for this Asia-Pacific century, and for a world where one day nuclear weapons are no more."


Impressive Mr Rudd san.


I thought so. You know, you can be co-chair if you like!


Much appreciation Mr Rudd san. *mutters* Although I suppose you're happy to keep selling uranium to China... And who will be the head of this important commission?


Biggles.


Biggles?


Yeah, bonza bloke Biggles. But I'll warn you, it's a good idea to keep an eye out for flying ashtrays! Ha ha!


I shall make a note.


Yeah, ol' Bluey. He'll love it. Hey, I heard one of your lot is buying that Bald Hills wind farm project at Tarwin Lower in Victoria. You know, some Vics are none too pleased about it.


Victoria! Hontou desu ka? Really? Oh, Tarwin! Not Taiwan Lower! Ah...! Just when we thought we'd gotten one over on the Chinese... *gulps sake*



You know Mr Fukuda. This has been a jolly good chat. I hope you don't feel I've been ignoring you lately.


Mr Rudd san. I do have bigger things to worry about... elections Sunday did not go well for my party. I'm not very popular, rating below 20%, the opposition is bullying me and planning to censure me.... *gulps more sake*


Uh, well hopefully things will be better on my next visit! *shakes hands in a cheery manner*


Most likely I won't be here Mr Rudd san.


Oh. Below 20% you say? Uh, Mr Fukuda. Have you heard of Brendan Nelson?


Would he be like Gordon Brown?




Oh no, even better than Gordon Brown! Here. Let me give you his number...

Heil Rudd!

I suspect our PM is becoming a bit of a Nazi!

Firstly he's opined that art works he hasn't laid eyes on are "revolting". And said art works (by Australia's third greatest photographer) have been taken away by police as suspected pornography.

When really he would have won a lot more political points if, instead, he started a rumour of the artworks' pornographic and pedophiliac merits.......

And THEN announced that Malcolm Turnbull owns two.

Oh! For shame!


I think, in fact, all pornography should be only legally allowed as art - so at least pedophiles will have to pay a hell of a lot more for it.

Or even better, only public art. That way we can catch all the pedophiles in the art gallery just as they're about to pull out their old fella!




Second, he's working public servants to the bone! And makes no apology for expecting people to "burn the midnight oil".


It seems though that he's just enjoying his mighty power!! (As he did in Queensland government.) He will arrange a meeting with staffers, and then not turn up as they all sit around and wait for him. Also:

"What the public services is angry about is not so much that they're asked to do reports and to spend all night working on them, but once they deliver them to the Prime Minister and other Ministers, nothing happens with them for weeks and weeks and weeks...

"That's what's making them angry - that they give up their nights and then there are no decisions coming from the Government arising from their work."

And our dear little PM's reply? THERE'LL BE MORE!!!! YOU SLACK BUGGERS!!!! As he busily shuffles his (is it 18?) piles of paper about in front of him:

"I understand there's been some criticism around the edges that some public servants are finding the hours a bit much," he said.

"I suppose I've simply got news for the public service - there'll be more.

"This Government was elected with a clear cut mandate, we intend to proceed with that. The work ethic of this government will not decrease, it will increase."

And so what work is he getting done? He's just blathering on back and forth about petrol prices!

Note today's (yes, a bunch of troops came home today, hurrah! maybe he's not quite so much of a Nazi after all...) news:

The Opposition argues that the Government is happy to have issues which divert attention from prices at the bowser.

It says that the spat between the Prime Minister and the public service over working hours and the end of combat operations in Iraq are both distractions from the petrol issue.

When surely the whole petrol thing is a distraction in itself!!!!

Opposition MPs say they will continue to question the Government in Parliament this week about what it can do about rising petrol prices.

Oh great. So Rudd's going to have to work even harder at not getting any work done cause they're still going on about this petrol nonsense just so Nelson can show he can raise his voice and go red in the face with the best of them. "I HAVE CAJONES TOO!" he'll scream.



But, and here's my third point, he has made time to tell all his staff, office and household, they have to take down their Facebook pages.


Hmmm...


Pot... kettle... black:

Rudd has too many web friends
Posted Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:42pm AEST

Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd's popularity in cyberspace is continuing to rise.

Mr Rudd recently joined Facebook, a popular social networking website similar to My Space, where people can join and become friends with others online.

A note on Mr Rudd's site says he now has reached Facebook's cap of 5,000 friends.

It says the Rudd team is in negotiations with Facebook to increase the cap so they can respond to all the requests to become friends.

Tsk.



Now. If he starts burning books....!!!!!!!!!!