Wednesday, February 27

Important things to remember:

1. When dining out don't complain that your seafood dish is taking too long as apparently the customer is not always right.











2. Keep your distance from icicles, these too can be fatal.









3.
Don't complain that Cate Blanchett is not women enough for the start of the 2020 Summit, as there are actually six co-chairs that are women cause they're of the politician hand-holding side, which means seven of the ten working groups will have a woman co-chairing although this really means six women will have mere "leadership" roles and Cate Blanchett will be the only one to have ideas heard...


Um, am I feeling better yet?


I will point out however that the Opposition's Sussan Ley is surely more correct than even she realises when she says "I doubt it would have happened under John Howard."
True. I reckon if he was ready to listen to Australians' ideas he might have done it some time during the 11 years he was PM! I mean, is not like he was losing touch or anything... Not like that's why he LOST THE ELECTION!!!

Who's losing touch now eh Sussan dear?



4. The Coalition appears to have learnt ABSOLUTELY NOTHING from their massive loss at the last election. (Especially Ms Ley who was obviously pushing her point a bit too far. Howard! Listening! To Others! *bwhahahahahahaha!* Ahhh. Oh. Yeah. Janette maybe.)





PS - Howard has said he is actually really looking forward to the 2020 meet. He loves his cricket!

Thursday, February 21

Not to put too fine a point on it... and perhaps no point at all...

You may have thought by my recent and thorough blog absence that this year, being a leap year and all, I was going to leap my way over February altogether and not return until March. But you are quite mistaken (obviously!) as I have now returned to opine upon the limitations and inclinations of beliefs.

Yes, you heard rightly. Phil-oss-o-fee.

*clears throat in a ladylike manner*


Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.
- Frank Zappa

The wise Mr Zappa is quite correct. I have been pondering such things myself lately and have realised that absolutely everything we humans believe in - including what we choose not to believe in - is a mere choice, you know, nothing can be proven and all that. (ie. Reality is in the eye of the beholder... Oooh...)

Some of you may find such an understanding of reality heartening as you appreciate the absolute freedom this gives a person. Others may take a more pessimistic approach and sigh in longing for answers which, it seems, you can only make up for yourself. Oh why cannot some worldly or (even more wonderfully) unworldly soul come along and show one the way; explain what's black and what's white! *holding back of hand to pale forehead as one beseeches the night sky above* I mean, everything is just a choice to believe or not believe? How heartbreakingly grey! And how can anything have any meaning at all if that is the case!??

Well, continuing in such thinking will only create a well worn path from your pacing treads upon the carpet and the only thing you will catch is likely your own tail (or, more aptly, 'tale') so don't get one's self in knots but instead distract yourself and feel some sympathy for those living in the time of Oscar Wilde...

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
- Oscar Wilde

...as they obviously did not have the internet.



Mr Wilde also believed "only the shallow know themselves." This makes a lot of sense considering the philosophical ponderings above... (she says out of the corner of her mouth as she is busy chewing her own tail).


The wonderful lass Mr George Eliot opined that "We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us." True, true. And also sheds extra light on how the shallow know themselves so well.


Sir Francis Bacon: "If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties."
Well... I suppose from my latest ponderings I am certain that everything I think I know or believe is purely my choice, and same goes for everyone else... But then, that's just what I choose to believe, I suppose... so, how certain am I?

Oh. He said "a man"! Well, there you go...



Ah, hell to it all. Let us instead reveal and revel in the wisdom of Lily Tomlin: "Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."


Obviously the trick is to be shallow and eternally inebriated.



*hic*

Top up my vodka will you George darling...

Sorry, Mary Anne then...

Er, aren't you dead dear?

Hmm, I could take your lack of response as affirmation... as inebriation... but... as I belieeeve you're here......