Friday, 11 April 2008

Musings upon Gordon Ramsey

Good God!

Do Channel 9 realise what effect they're having on the general population by putting Gordon Ramsey on twice a week? I mean, I've noticed myself - instead of my usual expression of 'Oh dear' or 'Gosh golly gee' - dryly saying "Fuck me..." when needing to express my disappointment lately.

For example, in a traffic jam the other day... ('Oh, fuck me!', *tsk*,etc.) Of course, being Perth it was merely a little temporary congestion at a couple of traffic lights, but, you know... don't burst our bubble...

You can just imagine any little ones up past 8:30 are now going to kindy and pre-school saying to little Johnny in the sandpit: 'Oh. Fuck me dead! What a mess! You're going to ki-i-ill someone!'.

Kids pick up on these things you know.

My mum recalls me as a toddler mildly exclaiming 'Bloody hell' (was this really still considered swearing in the 70s?) after stepping in a mud puddle for example. Of course I went through a phase of repeating it often (yet somewhat applicably... to my credit) and my parents and sweet grandparents would have to cover their smirks and repress their giggles so as not to encourage me.

Anyway, I noticed last night that dear, assertive Gordon was saying that he was increasingly popular in the gay community. And I wondered briefly if this was due to his manly aggression or because he can cook.
I suppose I should have thought they might find him attractive... as, I've noticed, the older women usually do.
But I don't find him all that attractive.
Mind you, he is growing on me, as I appreciate he has damn big cajones -- figuratively speaking of course, let's not dwell on any other images...

...damn, too late.

So, not being the type of guy to attract me - really just using Mr Ramsey (ooh, that could be why they like him!) as an example here; follow along, I do have a point - you'd think he'd not be the type I'd go out with.
But, you see, what I do is say to myself, Well, he's an interesting type. I wonder what makes him tick. Don't think I've really known anyone like him before. It would be fascinating to get to know him better (meaning - it usually turns out in my life - live with the guy* - I really don't do things in half-measures) so I can see what he is like at all different levels.

Yes, basically: There's an interesting lab rat. This could be a groovy and educating life experience. Why not make him my boyfriend and test some hypotheses?!

(Not, of course, that I've knowingly done this, but I know that intrigue has often been stronger than attraction for me. Of course, intrigue is actually a part of attraction, but I don't think it is really enough of a reason to shack up with someone...)

So, having noted this in my musings upon Gordon Ramsey, I then think how it would turn out.
Probably like the others...
He'd be attracted to me but not 'get me'.
Whilst I'm delving into some philosophical conundrum or analysis of life, he'd say "Who fucking gives a shit! What are you going on about?".
He wouldn't partake in persiflages of mild wit and amusing sarcasm, but instead would ramble on about some story concerning himself which involves no discussion, nor entails what I consider wit at all.
When I'd get emotional about something he'd look at me incredulously and repeat, "Who fucking gives a shit! What are you going on about? Don't be so fucking stupid!".
Of course Gordon might also put his creased-up face close to mine, gesticulate sternly with one hand in the air, and shout "Be A MAN!!!".

But, this is nothing to do with Gordon Ramsey (who is married btw - Also... he says 'my darlin'' to the ladies a lot, so he might come home and say 'How are you my darlin'?' - which could be sweet... or, increasingly annoying). He might be a lovely guy to go out with and really not have much of a free-running temper at all...!

Or not.

Anyway, he's fascinating in that he's interested in understanding others and pin-pointing their faults. And I love that he has the balls to actually tell them these flaws (eg. 'I think you're a fucking fake!'), and then stand close, hand on chin, peering intently at them to see how they'll react.

I mean really, Dr Phil looks a complete wuss next to Gordon.

But that is of course beside the point as I am just reinforcing the lesson that I might in future want to aim at dating guys I'm attracted to and keep the enigmas in the laboratory (which I'm now going to build in a new wing next to the spare bedroom - boy, I've really got this sorted now!).

Actually, to be more thorough -as I really haven't rambled on about this enough - what I've learned here (and really, who knew Kitchen Nightmares could be so profoundly educational) is that intrigue or interest is a major factor of attraction for me so I need to wait for a guy I am not merely generally attracted to, but one which also has enough depth, complexity and layers (in a healthy way, not a psycho way, but hey, I suppose I'm just being picky now) to hold my interest and appreciation.

Hopefully an opportunity for a more complete study of this hypothesis will eventuate one day (eg. Table 1: Comparison of responses to layers of intrigue as defined by layers numbered 1-87 on a rating scale of 'yawn' to 'take me now you gorgeous hunk of man!!')

* Of course, if I think the guy is merely very nice (and I'm not attracted to him and he doesn't intrigue me) then I will just marry him. Or so I've noticed.